Playing the Farmer bit

I sat in the back yard for about an hour today.  Here is part of what I saw.  A cardinal looking for the worm maybe and the yellow ??? scratching itself in the tree. 
I am spending Memorial Day working in the yard.  I had to take a break and enjoy God's gifts to us.  There are not as many birds as there used to be since we had to cut down some trees years ago but still enough to enjoy.
The weather is ideal with 80, sunny and a slight breeze.  Can not get nicer than that.  I cut the sod for the first time today so will see how that does.  It should be OK.
There is not much else.  I think I have shared before that this was the day before our wedding, 42 years ago.  At this time way back we were driving as fast as we dared in hopes that we would get back in time for the rehearsal and we did.  I was thinking that today a young couple would say I will not walk for the graduation ceremony but back then it seemed not to be an option, you just had to take part in such a big event.  Not to say we were right or wrong and today they are right or wrong, just a different time.
I think I have had enough of a break from the yard and will get back to watering, cutting, digging and in general playing a bit of farmer.  When I lived on a farm I said this is not for me, now that I live in the city I enjoy pretending I am a farmer.  One could almost say that guy is more than a little mixed up but then what is new in your life???????

Can't find it

Here it is Monday, May 31.  Travis and I drove to Lake Park yesterday for Dan Binde's graduation.  It was nice to see many family as we do not get to see them often enough.  Left at 10:00 AM and returned at 9:30 PM so it was much driving and a short trip.
I searched for a long time and can not, at this time, put my finger on a picture of Gail 42 years ago today.  Regardlessshe walked through the graduation ceremony for college, we jumped in the car and drove 300+ miles to reach Cayuga in time for our wedding rehearsal and the dinner that followed it.  It certainly was a long tiring day but so exciting. I would not want to go back to those days but it surely is fun to remember them, relive them in one's mind and to smile or chuckle at the youth, the naivety, the excitement and the innocence of the time.  We were so much in love, not even understanding love AT ALL, that every moment, every word, every smile, every look was an adventure and a time to cherish.  Of course that was and still is true but there is something so special about those early years that a person just could never capture when one got to a place where we "understood" what life really was.  Isn't that funny.
I told Gail's mother yesterday at graduation that we were so thankful for all the work she put into our special day as we were both going to school far away and much of the work was left to her.
Enough, I need some sleep.

A nondiscript day

A little done and kind of a normal day.
I worked in the rose bed for about 2 hours.  Finished by putting some coco beans around them after I had dug up the dirt and weeded.  I also dug around the edge where the dirt meets the lawn.  Gail always wanted to line that with baseball size rocks from the farm but we never did get that done. 

The temp hit in the low 90's so it was warm.  I think it is not supposed to be so warm now for the next several days.  The sod is soaking up water and the bare spots where I seeded grass is coming up.  Don't know if that will continue but hope so. 

I need, in a big way, to get a fence up on the west side.  Wallace has gotten out a few times and now he is a pest in that regard.  It really is not his fault as the fence not only looks stupid but could not hold the rain out.  I am not sure what I will do tomorrow as I will be gone all day to the Binde's for Dan's graduation and I don't trust Wallace in the yard now.  I think I will have to call on Cynthia again.

Am kind of quiet today.  John asked if I wanted to come over for dinner but for some reason I just did not feel like being with anyone.  Am not sure that is good but today that is the way is was. 

I did drive through the cemetery on my way home from Sams.  I really should get some flowers out early tomorrow morning.  I will not go out Monday as it looks like it could be crowded.  They have port-a-potties, big tents and all kinds of things up as Monday, Memorial Day must be the biggest of the year.
Perhaps Memorial Day followed by June 1st causes me to stop, think, reflect and be sad.  I have not really felt sad, but I would say maybe a little numb and melancholy.  Not real sure right now.

Ahead

Of course I am looking at another of those "firsts" on Tuesday when Gail and I would have celebrated our 42nd anniversary.  It is so difficult to believe that there will be no more celebrations.  Of course we did not celebrate in a big way much of the time but most of the time I would save a personal day from school so I could take the day off. Maybe I will tell some weird or funny or maybe sad stories of things we did on our special day.  Regardless of what happens in the next few days I know that next Tuesday will be mighty empty.  I have said it before and will probably say it in the future, "I can not imagine how a person can go through losing a loved one if they do not have a strong faith in our loving God. God is so good, He is so near, He is so loving and He is so protective.
I went to a funeral today.  A good friend Jim R mother died.  Jim was an only child and his mother and grand mother raised him so losing his mother was difficult even though she had lived a long life (87).  I have gone to several funerals since we lost Gail but for some reason it was difficult to get through this one.  I left after communion as I had difficulty drying my eye during the whole mass.  It will get easier I think.

Blessings

Just a short note:
God's blessings are so evident this morning:

• My grass seed is up
• My kale is growing
• The swiss chard looks good
• radishes are about 1/2' tall
• beets look good
• the sod is taking and looks wonderful
• the weather this morning is to die for (must be my age when I say that about the weather and not food)
• I feel the cool morning breeze could push me to wonderful places where I could see things I never dreamed about and talk to people I never met and do things I would so enjoy

The only thing that would make things better is guess what??  Well it is not to be so thank you Lord for all you are to each of us.

It's all about me!!!!!!

Forty-five years ago today I graduated from HS.  Dad took me to Fargo a few days earlier to get a suit.  It was the worst suit EVER.  I remember when we arrived at the school I got out of the car and my suit was so wrinkled I looked like a wreck that just happened.   Anyway here are some of the memories from years gone by.  One can certainly look and say wow, the 60's were a bit different than now.  Life travels so fast and goes so many places and takes so many turns that it actually is good once in a while to stop, reflect and take stock of who God is, how good he is and where we are in our daily walk.  Thinking back on my days at home, my grade school days and my high school days I have so much to be thankful for.  Our family was so so poor but I don't remember feeling badly about that, my dad never went to my games but somehow God shielded me from that disappointment, my mother was so faithful in her love and care of me and I know I did not show how appreciative I was---you get the picture.  I would say for sure, those were the good old days, would I go back and relive them?  No way would I do that which would cause me to erase all the happy memories I have over the last 45 years.  God has been too good, too generous to ever think I may want to start over.

A penny for your thoughts--A dollar for your tears

Here is the start of the garden season.  The radishes took a whole 2 days to come up and I put the tomatoes in today.  We will see when/if they start to grow.  There are 13 that I started from seeds.  I don't know the tomatoes are in the same spot as last year and every good farmer knows that you rotate so we will see what happens.

I finalized the monument things so the next time I see or do anything will be when it is in place.  They said the granite should come in any day so.

As I write tonight it is raining.  I am not sure if we will get much but we do need water. 

I drove out to Resurrection tonight.  I did not stay long but drove around a bit.  I need to bring flowers again as the heat took all of the ones left a few days ago. 

I kind of did a normal routine today.  I watered the sod, did the dishes, ran some errands and I did take a nap which was nice.  I woke at 5:30 ready to go so that was a good sign.  On my way from Schoenrock to Midway center I drove a route that I drove often in the past but have not been there for maybe 3 or 4 years and the changes were stunning.  The place I used to buy camp ribbons is now a large grassy area, Joe's sporting goods, which was big store, is now a uniform place and the list goes on and on. 

Those changes and the memories that go alone with what used to be are the dollar for your tears kind of thing.  Not sure why but could not help but think about Gail, the things that used to be and how life changes.  As I drove past Joe's Sporting goods I remembered how I had stopped in there one time and purchased a jacket for Gail.  I could see the look in her eyes and feel her arms around my waist as I gave it to her.  I remember her eyes said something like Carmen this is really nice but you know I didn't really need a new jacket.  Her arms around my waist did not say anything other than I want to be so close to you and I love you so much.  I often wonder why I am such a gift guy.  I so enjoy giving people gifts. 
It actually was a pretty good day, not too sad, not to high, not too low, just kind of a normal this is your life kind of day.

Enough for tonight.