For Carmen--A new beginning--A new journey: A penny for your thoughts--A dollar for your tears

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

A penny for your thoughts--A dollar for your tears

Here is the start of the garden season. The radishes took a whole 2 days to come up and I put the tomatoes in today. We will see when/if they start to grow. There are 13 that I started from seeds. I don't know the tomatoes are in the same spot as last year and every good farmer knows that you rotate so we will see what happens.

I finalized the monument things so the next time I see or do anything will be when it is in place. They said the granite should come in any day so.

As I write tonight it is raining. I am not sure if we will get much but we do need water.

I drove out to Resurrection tonight. I did not stay long but drove around a bit. I need to bring flowers again as the heat took all of the ones left a few days ago.

I kind of did a normal routine today. I watered the sod, did the dishes, ran some errands and I did take a nap which was nice. I woke at 5:30 ready to go so that was a good sign. On my way from Schoenrock to Midway center I drove a route that I drove often in the past but have not been there for maybe 3 or 4 years and the changes were stunning. The place I used to buy camp ribbons is now a large grassy area, Joe's sporting goods, which was big store, is now a uniform place and the list goes on and on.

Those changes and the memories that go alone with what used to be are the dollar for your tears kind of thing. Not sure why but could not help but think about Gail, the things that used to be and how life changes. As I drove past Joe's Sporting goods I remembered how I had stopped in there one time and purchased a jacket for Gail. I could see the look in her eyes and feel her arms around my waist as I gave it to her. I remember her eyes said something like Carmen this is really nice but you know I didn't really need a new jacket. Her arms around my waist did not say anything other than I want to be so close to you and I love you so much. I often wonder why I am such a gift guy. I so enjoy giving people gifts.
It actually was a pretty good day, not too sad, not to high, not too low, just kind of a normal this is your life kind of day.

Enough for tonight.

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The first reading at Gail's funeral September 18, 2009

I know of no one who fit this better than Gail

Proverbs 31: 10-31
A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm.
all the days of her life.
She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.
She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously:
her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her;
Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Well done good and faithful servant, your praise is much and your reward is to be with God forever.

Our Story

Our story begin in 1951, when Carmen was 4 and Gail was 5! We met as our parents were at a camera club. Fast forward--Carmen begin to attend grade school in town in 1957, the same school that Gail went to. Fast forward--We had our first date in the winter of 1964 in Gail's senior year of high school. Again--we were married June 1st of 1968. We moved to St. Paul in October of 1977 and lived at 2094 Niles Ave until Gail's death September 14 of 2009.
Gail first breast cancer was found in October of 2003. After surgery, chemo, radiation and infusions for a year she felt well and we lived life in our normal mode. Carmen retired in June of 2007 and shortly after that we quit doing the paper route as well. In the fall of 2007 we went on our dream vacation. We camped for 7 weeks in Prince Edward Island and Nova Scotia and in the New England states. Sleeping in our truck and eating over an open fire we felt that we had experienced heaven. Then in January of 2008 we spent 3 weeks in Hawaii with friends and again had so much fun. In the fall of 2008 we did much work on the outside of the house and we were so excited to enter 2009 with big plans and dreams. In January Gail was diagnosed with new cancer. For the next 7 1/2 months we prayed, changed our life style, laughed and cried often. As the end of Gail's life drew near she was peaceful and family cared for her at home until she met Jesus. It was a journey that was wonderful, exciting, blessed, full of life and full of love but of course it was too short. Gail is so missed but I know she is in a better place so my journey must continue on without my true love.
I enter a new decade as the "I" that I never wanted to be but I have hope. Hope of things not experienced and hope that life will again, in 2010, become something that I look forward to each morning. My hope is based on our Lord who gives all, who is all and who gives love to all who believe. I enter this new decade with so many questions and so few answers but with faith that all will be well.

For Carmen--A new beginning--A new journey

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

A penny for your thoughts--A dollar for your tears

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The first reading at Gail's funeral September 18, 2009

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