For Carmen--A new beginning--A new journey: Hydrangea Heaven

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Hydrangea Heaven

The big thing yesterday was changing the landscape in front of the house. The top pictures are the east side before and after while the bottom is the west side before and after. I can never get the pictures to be in the place I want so my directions may be off. Cynthia and Faustina did much of the work!!! Actually Faustina supervised. I am excited to see how the flowers grow and look after a few weeks. And really, the beds looked as bad as they are in the pictures before the work.
A lot was accomplished yesterday but oh there is so much more to do. Bored, I will never be but I am thankful for family to help, health to work and finances to pay for it. Well, Cynthia did not give me the tab yet so I THINK I am thankful for the finances.
I have been thinking about a lot of things lately. I will not go into those things here but many important things and it has been hard for my body to settle down. Have been taking Advil PM maybe too often to sleep. I am not in a depressed state or really a sad state just in a bit of turmoil emotionally so prayers are welcome. My stomach has been kind of knotted up for a few days and my nerves have been a bit on edge. I am guessing it is all part of the change from one life to another so I am expecting it to come to a close soon. If it comes to an end, then what? Not sure but I know God is good so I should not worry.
I am looking forward to school being out. No, it does not affect me in a working way but I think I can spend more time with the grand children, biking and things like that. I hope------many times it seems that my schedule gets so full so fast and I don't even go look for things to do.
At this time I am thinking the only trips I will make before August camp is for Ruby Gail's baptism in early June and then our 3 night family camping trip during July 4 weekend. I think, I am not sure, that after Labor Day I may get lost for some time and be on the road. Where to???? I may just duplicate what Gail and I did in 07, know what my destination is but leave the journey there and back again to a daily decision. I am rethinking how I should go. My plugger pickup is my camping mode but with gas prices and with a nice car to drive I may change that. If I could think of enough friends and family to stay with on the road I may not camp too much, I will see as that is several months off. As I write that I am thinking I just may be starting to dream again, WOW.
The last reading from Did I tell you:
Did I tell you these things as we went along the way? If I did I am humbly grateful. If I did not then you must choose for yourself. If it has meaning accept it and make it your own. If it does not discard it. Your life is yours to build as you choose. And did I tell you.....I hope it will be a good life. I love you Mom!!
I have several things to do today, none of which is work but got places to go and people to see so best be off.

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The first reading at Gail's funeral September 18, 2009

I know of no one who fit this better than Gail

Proverbs 31: 10-31
A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm.
all the days of her life.
She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.
She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously:
her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her;
Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Well done good and faithful servant, your praise is much and your reward is to be with God forever.

Our Story

Our story begin in 1951, when Carmen was 4 and Gail was 5! We met as our parents were at a camera club. Fast forward--Carmen begin to attend grade school in town in 1957, the same school that Gail went to. Fast forward--We had our first date in the winter of 1964 in Gail's senior year of high school. Again--we were married June 1st of 1968. We moved to St. Paul in October of 1977 and lived at 2094 Niles Ave until Gail's death September 14 of 2009.
Gail first breast cancer was found in October of 2003. After surgery, chemo, radiation and infusions for a year she felt well and we lived life in our normal mode. Carmen retired in June of 2007 and shortly after that we quit doing the paper route as well. In the fall of 2007 we went on our dream vacation. We camped for 7 weeks in Prince Edward Island and Nova Scotia and in the New England states. Sleeping in our truck and eating over an open fire we felt that we had experienced heaven. Then in January of 2008 we spent 3 weeks in Hawaii with friends and again had so much fun. In the fall of 2008 we did much work on the outside of the house and we were so excited to enter 2009 with big plans and dreams. In January Gail was diagnosed with new cancer. For the next 7 1/2 months we prayed, changed our life style, laughed and cried often. As the end of Gail's life drew near she was peaceful and family cared for her at home until she met Jesus. It was a journey that was wonderful, exciting, blessed, full of life and full of love but of course it was too short. Gail is so missed but I know she is in a better place so my journey must continue on without my true love.
I enter a new decade as the "I" that I never wanted to be but I have hope. Hope of things not experienced and hope that life will again, in 2010, become something that I look forward to each morning. My hope is based on our Lord who gives all, who is all and who gives love to all who believe. I enter this new decade with so many questions and so few answers but with faith that all will be well.

For Carmen--A new beginning--A new journey

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Hydrangea Heaven

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The first reading at Gail's funeral September 18, 2009

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