For Carmen--A new beginning--A new journey: They tell me it's about Mars and Venus!!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

They tell me it's about Mars and Venus!!

Just a short note as I finish my morning coffee before I venture outside.
A really funny thing this morning that relates to the title. Cynthia and I have been working hard at making the front yard look nice by putting flowers, bushes etc in. I think it looks so much better than it has in the past and of course the sod helps a lot too. Mary, down the street commented yesterday now nice it looks, my neighbor said it looks nice and a couple of other women have made nice comments as they passed by. This morning five guys came for meditations. All walked up the front walk and into the house. Not a word about the flowers, the yard or anything. As they left I laughed and thought no wonder I miss my Gail so much!!!!!!
I did it my way, not the easy way this morning. After the guys had left I went up town, got muffins and bacon and then came home and made myself two egg-bacon sandwiches. Now I am not saying that is the greatest breakfast but at least I put some effort into it. Much better, I think, than a peanut butter sandwich which is quick or a slice of toast with jam on it or even a cheese sandwich. I thought I need to put more time and effort into my meals as it is so easy to just do something quick for one person. Now maybe I need to work on the healthy issue, I will try.
Much to do today as the sod needs MUCH water, more yard work, wood shop things, should cut the grass, kill the dandelions and the list goes on for some time. I forgot to say as I was coming home I did stop at Starbucks to treat myself. I am getting a bit better at not feeling guilty when I spend a couple of $$ on that kind of thing. Sandy, the gal I know who works there Wed and Thur, and I have this on going joke when I come in about how I only come in when she is working and I always say she needs to work only 1 day a week as I can't afford to buy coffee twice a week. I call her the Highland icon as she as worked there since it opened perhaps 10 years ago.
The challenge continues to be how to remember Gail, how to digest her values and mine now, how to put all of those wonderful memories in the right heart compartment and then live for the here and now. It may sound like it's easy but for me it is a daily and sometimes hourly challenge.

1 comment:

macman said...: 2 egg/bacon sandwiches sound good to me. At the Real Meal Deli downtown St. Paul we occasionally get the sirloin/egg/cheese breakfast sandwich. That's breakfast/lunch and a lite dinner all in one.; May 20, 2010 at 9:51 AM

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The first reading at Gail's funeral September 18, 2009

I know of no one who fit this better than Gail

Proverbs 31: 10-31
A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm.
all the days of her life.
She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.
She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously:
her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her;
Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Well done good and faithful servant, your praise is much and your reward is to be with God forever.

Our Story

Our story begin in 1951, when Carmen was 4 and Gail was 5! We met as our parents were at a camera club. Fast forward--Carmen begin to attend grade school in town in 1957, the same school that Gail went to. Fast forward--We had our first date in the winter of 1964 in Gail's senior year of high school. Again--we were married June 1st of 1968. We moved to St. Paul in October of 1977 and lived at 2094 Niles Ave until Gail's death September 14 of 2009.
Gail first breast cancer was found in October of 2003. After surgery, chemo, radiation and infusions for a year she felt well and we lived life in our normal mode. Carmen retired in June of 2007 and shortly after that we quit doing the paper route as well. In the fall of 2007 we went on our dream vacation. We camped for 7 weeks in Prince Edward Island and Nova Scotia and in the New England states. Sleeping in our truck and eating over an open fire we felt that we had experienced heaven. Then in January of 2008 we spent 3 weeks in Hawaii with friends and again had so much fun. In the fall of 2008 we did much work on the outside of the house and we were so excited to enter 2009 with big plans and dreams. In January Gail was diagnosed with new cancer. For the next 7 1/2 months we prayed, changed our life style, laughed and cried often. As the end of Gail's life drew near she was peaceful and family cared for her at home until she met Jesus. It was a journey that was wonderful, exciting, blessed, full of life and full of love but of course it was too short. Gail is so missed but I know she is in a better place so my journey must continue on without my true love.
I enter a new decade as the "I" that I never wanted to be but I have hope. Hope of things not experienced and hope that life will again, in 2010, become something that I look forward to each morning. My hope is based on our Lord who gives all, who is all and who gives love to all who believe. I enter this new decade with so many questions and so few answers but with faith that all will be well.

For Carmen--A new beginning--A new journey

Thursday, May 20, 2010

They tell me it's about Mars and Venus!!

1 comment:

The first reading at Gail's funeral September 18, 2009

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