I spent some time yesterday thinking and praying and I thought about something I had not given much thought to in the past. I was remembering Gail, how she was so precious to the very end, how her eyes reflected God's goodness and love so clearly and how she used her talents and gifts that God gave her. I realized that when God blesses a marriage he also pours his spirit out into each person and makes them part of each other. I thought if that is true, and I know it is, that means that my gifts which I have were made more whole and more usable by Gail and in turn the gifts she so freely gave to others were really part of me as well. I then realized that for a marriage to be as complete as God desires it is absolutely necessary that each spouse love, serve, encourage and complement their partners. I was so blessed by Gail to the very last day of her life but really when she gave of herself she really was giving of me as well. Of course we can take no credit for what God has given us but we can continue to do our very best in using those gifts. Of course I also thought a lot about how Gail did so much to cover my back side so that my many weaknesses were not so evident and I had to wonder how now, in my single life, I need to be a better person as there is no cover for those weaknesses any more. I think I need to pray daily that my family and friends will have have a forgiving heart towards me.
I am blogging early today as I am tired and my energy is lost to the wind. Maybe this "sitting" for a while will allow me to catch my breathe and get some things done.
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