For Carmen--A new beginning--A new journey: Every little bit helps

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Every little bit helps

Every little bit helps. I spent much of my weekend moving, sorting, throwing, recycling, cleaning and I have much more to do but as the pictures show some work was finished. The pile of wood is toungue and groove ash (300 board feet), hard maple and a log that could be used for a bench, fireplace etc. The bench is beginning to look like I may be able to do some work on it. I have not been able to get into the shop since Gail died. I still can hear her words when I showed her a table leg which I had made in May of 2009. She said, "Carmen I can not die yet because I want to see all the beautiful things you will make out of wood. Each time I walk into my shop I hear those words and the emotions just well up and take over any energy I may have entered with. This weekend was a bit different. I was able to do some things and I am hopeful that I will get some work done. I have a few projects to complete, that is if the people they are for still have the patience to wait for me.
The weekend has been a slow, peaceful, kind of a lazy time. Have not heard or seen any family or really any friends either so it has been kind of a "go it alone time" for me. I continue to try to focus on "decluttering", keeping the weight off, getting some exercise in and just being the kind of person I feel God is asking me to be. I did get a couple of loads of clothes washed and I used the dryer for the first time this year as I have been hanging things on the line.
I did enjoy having the Binde's stay over night Friday and then making breakfast for them Saturday morning before they continued on their way to Washington DC for their fall trip.
I also did have a follow up Dr. appt Friday morning and all is fine. Sometimes I feel they want you to come back for advice or whatever just to get their co-pay. I hope I am finished with Dr. for a while.
Not much more to say. I do have few things to do before Aaron/Amy arrive Wednesday for turkey day. It will be fun to see them again but for sure will miss John/Mary and kids. I am hoping to see them in early December but not sure yet. I want to travel down there but have not made final plans yet.
I need to do some paper work tonight. I received a call from Chase today saying that someone had tried to charge $10,000+ on my credit card. Wow, I had better do my homework to be sure things are in order there. Got to go.

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The first reading at Gail's funeral September 18, 2009

I know of no one who fit this better than Gail

Proverbs 31: 10-31
A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm.
all the days of her life.
She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.
She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously:
her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her;
Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Well done good and faithful servant, your praise is much and your reward is to be with God forever.

Our Story

Our story begin in 1951, when Carmen was 4 and Gail was 5! We met as our parents were at a camera club. Fast forward--Carmen begin to attend grade school in town in 1957, the same school that Gail went to. Fast forward--We had our first date in the winter of 1964 in Gail's senior year of high school. Again--we were married June 1st of 1968. We moved to St. Paul in October of 1977 and lived at 2094 Niles Ave until Gail's death September 14 of 2009.
Gail first breast cancer was found in October of 2003. After surgery, chemo, radiation and infusions for a year she felt well and we lived life in our normal mode. Carmen retired in June of 2007 and shortly after that we quit doing the paper route as well. In the fall of 2007 we went on our dream vacation. We camped for 7 weeks in Prince Edward Island and Nova Scotia and in the New England states. Sleeping in our truck and eating over an open fire we felt that we had experienced heaven. Then in January of 2008 we spent 3 weeks in Hawaii with friends and again had so much fun. In the fall of 2008 we did much work on the outside of the house and we were so excited to enter 2009 with big plans and dreams. In January Gail was diagnosed with new cancer. For the next 7 1/2 months we prayed, changed our life style, laughed and cried often. As the end of Gail's life drew near she was peaceful and family cared for her at home until she met Jesus. It was a journey that was wonderful, exciting, blessed, full of life and full of love but of course it was too short. Gail is so missed but I know she is in a better place so my journey must continue on without my true love.
I enter a new decade as the "I" that I never wanted to be but I have hope. Hope of things not experienced and hope that life will again, in 2010, become something that I look forward to each morning. My hope is based on our Lord who gives all, who is all and who gives love to all who believe. I enter this new decade with so many questions and so few answers but with faith that all will be well.

For Carmen--A new beginning--A new journey

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Every little bit helps

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The first reading at Gail's funeral September 18, 2009

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