Sunday, December 19, 2010
Today was one of those days that one wants to just put behind them and not think about things again. I had 2 situations where I just came away as an emotional wreck. I do not know how people view me but I am kind of thinking that many friends would be surprised to hear me say that I absolutely hate conflict, disagreement or any kind of confrontation. Gail would always tell me that I could not see reality some times and I just wanted everything to always be happy, fine and never have disagreements. That may be a fairly true picture of me. Anyway today was not one of my banner days. DETAILS---well there will not be any here but it is enough to say that I feel batted down, stepped on and then left for fodder!! Not that anyone did anything wrong, no that is not the case. I just hate it when I know people are sad, upset or bothered in a big way and that happened today. Of course things will be OK, life will be fine tomorrow and if half the people in the world had no bigger problems than me it would be a greater place than it really is. But the truth is my day was not good. It was more a product of who I am and not related to others. Sometimes I just wish I could be different or have less faults or just was able to put things aside without attaching emotions to things but I often seem not able to do that. So when I fail it seems to me that I fail big time. Anyway I do need to gather my wits about me after a good nights sleep as Christmas is getting near and the focus needs to be on our mighty God and how he gave us his only son to be our savior.
It seems early but I am spent so will try to see if the pillow gives some relief.