Wednesday, December 29, 2010

A visit--a tear--a smile

Not a whole lot to say today.  Family gathered at the gravesite at 8:00 AM to remember Gail as it would have been her birthday tomorrow.  After a short time we motored to Starks where we enjoyed breakfast as a family.  We missed A/A/L/RG who of course are in Madison but be it Gail or other family members who are not here life continues to move oh so fast and change at a pace that is almost breath taking. 
It has been kind of a difficult day for me so far.  Thinking back on Gail/my life as her birthday approachs is difficult and then saying good-bye to John/Mary and family as they head back to IN has made the day a bit sad.  I will be OK but maybe will need a small amount of time to recapture God's grace now.
The title is about the morning.  A visit to the grave site, a tear for the sadness one feels and a smile for ALL the memories Gail gave each of us.  Liam said he remembered grandma actually being unhappy with him one time when he threw something in the living room and it went on top of the fireplace.  Of course he remembers all of the love that grandma gave him the most!!  The example Gail was to us for what she gave to family, what she gave to each individual was amazing and something one is so so thankful.
I have much to do as I plan to head out in a few days to get some warm weather, visit family and friends and just take some time to be "me" as I did not get a vacation this past summer.  I have decided to forget work at home, forget getting more order in the house and just be.  I also have some important things to get done while I am gone as I need to try to find out what I should do with my life.  I think it will help to get away, pray, visit, talk and just think  about my future.  Will D just stopped by to get something and I said I plan to take bike rides and maybe fashion a sign that says "I am Carmen and let me know if you have any ideas what I should do" but then as I thought about it that may not be a good idea!!!!!

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