Saturday, July 17, 2010
The last few days have been interesting. I don't think I have seen family in the last 4 days. I know that has not happened since Gail died and for many many months before that as well. I am not saying it was bad or anything it just was so so different and I found that I got very lonesome. I did drive past John/Mary's place and it looked like they had company from out state, perhaps Mary's family from South Bend. Cynthia/Mike are still on vacation and I have talked to Travis a bit but not seen him. So it is what it is but very very different and I guess I may get used to it as soon there will be less family close. As I have said before I really do get lonesome and that is some thing I did not think would happen to me. I guess it is never to late to learn something about one self.
I had a nice phone conversation with Gail's mother and sister yesterday. Grandma is so busy now, at the age of 89, that it is often hard to call as she is not home much. I would say that is good.
The weekend so far has been hot and slow. Not much happening but I have gotten work done around the house.
Some probably have noticed that I now do not blog everyday and I mention Gail less. I am trying to do that as at this stage I sometimes feel that talking a lot sends me into a downer. More and more I try to recall the happy memories and then get on with my life. I try and sometimes do well but it still is so hard. I am very very surprised at my emotions. Sometimes they seem so out of control I get mad at myself and sometimes I do OK.
With the hot weather I am using this time to do somethings in the basement where it is cooler so will return there to throw, recycle, keep and wonder!!!!!