For Carmen--A new beginning--A new journey: This gets old

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

This gets old

I have not done much for the last 2 days other than ice my back, take my meds and sleep a lot. It is getting kind of old but I do think my back is getting better. The pain meds will be out in a day and then I will see how I feel. I have been able to get some camp work done which HAD to be done and so that is good but the absence of walking and biking is not good. I don't know when I will be able to get on the bike again but I hope it is not too long.
I have enjoyed Cynthia/Mike coming over the last 2 days to watch the semifinals of the World Cup but today I slept through much of the game. I am a bit jealous of them as they will leave on vacation in a day or two.
The summer is just flying bye. Here we are finished with a week of July already and before I know it camp will be here.
We got another inch of rain today and that was after 8/10 of an inch a day ago. I am thinking that all the rain will help with the shortage we have had for some time. I could look but I think in the last 2 weeks we have gotten at least 6 inches of rain. The grass continues to be so green.
I went out to Gail's grave site today. I put down some weed killer on the site and am hoping it will make the grass look much nicer. I do not know if a person should do that and maybe I should have asked. Each time I go out there I have hope that the monument will be up but not yet. They called to say it would be delayed 10-14 days and that was 2 weeks ago so it should be soon. There is a new monument up right near where Gail is so that is nice.
I continue to struggle with what to do with all that needs to be done. Actually I guess the struggle is how to live a happy life alone. I think it is slowly coming but oh so slow.
Tomorrow I will be going to the wake of a 16 year old boy who was killed in a car roll over a few days ago. Those times are still so hard for me. I have learned that a person can not ask the "why". There just is no answers to that so one must believe that God is always in control and understand that he always loves us in all situations.
No it is time to get some sleep.

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The first reading at Gail's funeral September 18, 2009

I know of no one who fit this better than Gail

Proverbs 31: 10-31
A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm.
all the days of her life.
She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.
She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously:
her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her;
Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Well done good and faithful servant, your praise is much and your reward is to be with God forever.

Our Story

Our story begin in 1951, when Carmen was 4 and Gail was 5! We met as our parents were at a camera club. Fast forward--Carmen begin to attend grade school in town in 1957, the same school that Gail went to. Fast forward--We had our first date in the winter of 1964 in Gail's senior year of high school. Again--we were married June 1st of 1968. We moved to St. Paul in October of 1977 and lived at 2094 Niles Ave until Gail's death September 14 of 2009.
Gail first breast cancer was found in October of 2003. After surgery, chemo, radiation and infusions for a year she felt well and we lived life in our normal mode. Carmen retired in June of 2007 and shortly after that we quit doing the paper route as well. In the fall of 2007 we went on our dream vacation. We camped for 7 weeks in Prince Edward Island and Nova Scotia and in the New England states. Sleeping in our truck and eating over an open fire we felt that we had experienced heaven. Then in January of 2008 we spent 3 weeks in Hawaii with friends and again had so much fun. In the fall of 2008 we did much work on the outside of the house and we were so excited to enter 2009 with big plans and dreams. In January Gail was diagnosed with new cancer. For the next 7 1/2 months we prayed, changed our life style, laughed and cried often. As the end of Gail's life drew near she was peaceful and family cared for her at home until she met Jesus. It was a journey that was wonderful, exciting, blessed, full of life and full of love but of course it was too short. Gail is so missed but I know she is in a better place so my journey must continue on without my true love.
I enter a new decade as the "I" that I never wanted to be but I have hope. Hope of things not experienced and hope that life will again, in 2010, become something that I look forward to each morning. My hope is based on our Lord who gives all, who is all and who gives love to all who believe. I enter this new decade with so many questions and so few answers but with faith that all will be well.

For Carmen--A new beginning--A new journey

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

This gets old

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The first reading at Gail's funeral September 18, 2009

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