Friday, September 25, 2009

Enjoy the weekend

I can not believe that we are headed into the last weekend of September. As I think about that I remember Gail saying more than once that she felt something was going to happen this fall. She was talking about herself when she said that. I had not thought about that until this morning.

I feel so much better this morning. I slept about 8 hours last night and it felt so good. I fell asleep on the couch and did not even know Cynthia left, I felt badly about that.

I am sure Amy and Micah are so excited today as tomorrow will be their big day. It should be a grand celebration and I am so excited and happy for them. The piano was the usual place for Gail to place all of our invitations for special events but it was cleared off so I will have to call someone about the time, place etc. I know it will be near Stillwater but I don't think that will be enough information!!!!

Travis and I had dinner at a friend of his, LeAnn, last night. It was a good time but I think I got into my old habit of eating too much. She lives just across the bridge from here.

I went through Gail's small small purse yesterday and took out her credit cards etc. For safety I went to shred them but I couldn't. I put them back and that will be for another day.

Nights have been strange. For several nights I have dreamt about things related to death. Last night I had a dream about a person who died last winter. One night I relived the last 12 hours of Gail's life. I hope that stops soon.

Larry B is so thoughtful and kind. Last night he called to see if I would like to ride with him east as he is going to Chicago. He would have dropped me off in Madison. As it turns out A/A/L are coming today for the wedding but his thought was so kind. I thought to myself that I do not think I would have had that mindset. I want to change to be a better person.

I don't know if other people do this but I often play little games with myself such as try to guess the minute someone is coming to what color car will be the next one that comes down the street or who will call next etc. I know it is goofy but then people who know me would not expect much that is normal. Anyway each day I try to guess how many cards will come saying how much they loved Gail and how special she was. Yesterday I way wrong as I guessed 6 and 9 came. I miss her so much but I know many many others miss her and think about her too.

Enough, I am going to take my coffee cup and go for a short walk. I usual would do that to get the paper but I am getting one at my door free for 4 weeks so I miss my walk. Have a wonderful weekend.

1 comment:

Tom Bowar said...


It is a privilege to be able to share a little bit in this journey with you. Your writing is so down to earth and honest. Thanks for sharing so deeply with us.

We are grieving with you and praying for you and the family. God bless you.