For Carmen--A new beginning--A new journey: It will be different

Monday, September 28, 2009

It will be different

As I sit down to put some of my thoughts on the blog it appears that fall is here. The temp is 52 this morning with a cold wind. When I saw the weather I found myself saying that it was such a blessing that Gail had almost perfect weather the last 6 weeks of her life and then again I thought really that wasn't important to her because she could not enjoy it so perhaps it was only important to me!

I needed hand soap so doubled up on some things and went to Sam's Club yesterday afternoon. As I looked for different things I started to ask myself what would Gail need! I stopped and thought she certainly doesn't need anything from here now. I then went on to think I may not be here much now as any quantity I buy from here could last me a long long time. I did buy the soap but those 12 bars will last me forever.

I lost it for a short time again yesterday. I found her little pocket knife on top of the washing machine. I had given it to her a long time ago and she was so proud that only she would use it. Most of the time it would be in the little jar in the kitchen where we keep watches, nail clippers etc but for some reason it was on the machine. God certainly made us as interesting beings when a little thing like that can flood my cheeks with tears.

Aaron/Amy headed back to Madison yesterday and I was lucky enough to see all the other kids yesterday. Cynthia and Travis spent a long time here watching the game and then working downstairs bringing up bags of old clothes. Travis did set in front of me a box with Gail's and my high school and college diplomas. I just do not know what to do with things like that. Of course I will keep them but we just never were ones to display things like that. I think Gail always thought the inside stuff was always more important than the outside stuff.

Travis and I enjoyed the Binde's and Grandma's visit for a short time yesterday. That was nice of them to stop for a bit. Mark and Mary must have been in town for some time for the wedding but am sure they had more than enough to do so did not see them. Maybe the next time they are in town they will stop. I hope to see Al and Deb Wed at St. Kates as their Claire has a home soccer game. Maybe I will walk up there with Wallace as it is only a 10 minute walk.

I looked outside through the window by the front door about 10 last night and there walking across the front lawn was a possum. I had never seen one here before. I thought, very interesting, I think there will be many things in my future that are "never before". I do yearn for the "same old stuff" but I know that is not to be.

My coffee is ready and the paper is here so will sit and enjoy, sounds like a good life doesn't it!!

1 comment:

Connie Schrandt said...: Hi Carmen, I was catching up on your blog and read your post about Gail not being healed. I believe you are correct about her wanting to live with the best quality - to truly live. I also believe you are correct in that our prayers for healing did buoy her to hope and to life. What a wonderful gift to be a part of that, but for us, a sad ending indeed.

At our Bible study we listened to teachings on healing. One Scripture that really stuck with me is Duet. 29:29 "The secret things belong to the LORD our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our sons forever, that we may observe all the words of this law."

Our instructor used that Scripture to help us deal with all of those questions that come up when people aren't healed. The reasons are the secret things that belong to the LORD our God, and we can trust Him with those secrets. He has revealed to us that sickness and death are not of Him and that it is ALWAYS right to pray for healing. That is a word of the law that we can always observe. It sets my heart at ease.

Have you tried Ethopian Yirgacheffe coffee? True Stone has it and it is GREAT!!; September 28, 2009 at 12:29 PM

Post a Comment

The first reading at Gail's funeral September 18, 2009

I know of no one who fit this better than Gail

Proverbs 31: 10-31
A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm.
all the days of her life.
She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.
She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously:
her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her;
Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Well done good and faithful servant, your praise is much and your reward is to be with God forever.

Our Story

Our story begin in 1951, when Carmen was 4 and Gail was 5! We met as our parents were at a camera club. Fast forward--Carmen begin to attend grade school in town in 1957, the same school that Gail went to. Fast forward--We had our first date in the winter of 1964 in Gail's senior year of high school. Again--we were married June 1st of 1968. We moved to St. Paul in October of 1977 and lived at 2094 Niles Ave until Gail's death September 14 of 2009.
Gail first breast cancer was found in October of 2003. After surgery, chemo, radiation and infusions for a year she felt well and we lived life in our normal mode. Carmen retired in June of 2007 and shortly after that we quit doing the paper route as well. In the fall of 2007 we went on our dream vacation. We camped for 7 weeks in Prince Edward Island and Nova Scotia and in the New England states. Sleeping in our truck and eating over an open fire we felt that we had experienced heaven. Then in January of 2008 we spent 3 weeks in Hawaii with friends and again had so much fun. In the fall of 2008 we did much work on the outside of the house and we were so excited to enter 2009 with big plans and dreams. In January Gail was diagnosed with new cancer. For the next 7 1/2 months we prayed, changed our life style, laughed and cried often. As the end of Gail's life drew near she was peaceful and family cared for her at home until she met Jesus. It was a journey that was wonderful, exciting, blessed, full of life and full of love but of course it was too short. Gail is so missed but I know she is in a better place so my journey must continue on without my true love.
I enter a new decade as the "I" that I never wanted to be but I have hope. Hope of things not experienced and hope that life will again, in 2010, become something that I look forward to each morning. My hope is based on our Lord who gives all, who is all and who gives love to all who believe. I enter this new decade with so many questions and so few answers but with faith that all will be well.

For Carmen--A new beginning--A new journey

Monday, September 28, 2009

It will be different

1 comment:

The first reading at Gail's funeral September 18, 2009

Our Story

Followers

About Me