For Carmen--A new beginning--A new journey: New day same thing!!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

New day same thing!!

Yesterday was not a great day! I kind of spun my wheels, was tired and found myself walking around the house aimlessly. I remembered when Gail would be on a retreat or away for some other reason for a couple of days. I would say to myself that I was going to get a lot done but....... I would have the same kind of day then as yesterday. Do you think it could be because I used the last of my "praying for you blend" french press coffee? If that is the case I will fix it easily by ordering a whole case of it from Charlene. No, I do realize that is not the case. It just is what used to happen when Gail was living, but away, I just acted like I was kind of lost. I perked up a bit this morning as I was reading the paper and the story was of President Bush. He was asked if he wanted to do this or that and his answer was no no I am happy and I am ready for the next chapter in my life. You may read that I am happy and say no. But here is the deal. I have always been a happy person. I probably should not admit it so much but I have tears many times a day but when I am able to not think of Gail I actually sing some times. So I can say I am happy and I certainly can say I am at least trying to get ready for the next chapter of my life. My gosh I think I could have maybe 20+ years in my wood shop before I need to be concerned about my fingers etc.

I have a dumpster coming today. Half of it will be filled from my stuff in the garage and half from Gail's stuff in the house. Gail was so frugal and saving that she would put anyone else to shame. She was so generous but yet so very frugal. You may not know this but she almost would refuse to spend any money on herself and for that reason I purchased all of her clothes. I recycled boxes from upstairs that came into the house when my dad gave our kids a toy rabbit. He died 12 years ago but I am sure Gail had something in mind for that box. I just wonder if God has projects in heaven. If he does he certainly has a leader of the pack with Gail now.

I have spent much time thinking about the wake and funeral. It was amazing how many people came to say how much they loved Gail. Dee, Mary Lou and Kathy came from school, that was nice. Neighbors, paper route people, friends, far away family, community and the list goes on and on. Everyone said Gail treated them like a special friend--wow.

Got to go now as there is much to do!!

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The first reading at Gail's funeral September 18, 2009

I know of no one who fit this better than Gail

Proverbs 31: 10-31
A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm.
all the days of her life.
She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.
She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously:
her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her;
Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Well done good and faithful servant, your praise is much and your reward is to be with God forever.

Our Story

Our story begin in 1951, when Carmen was 4 and Gail was 5! We met as our parents were at a camera club. Fast forward--Carmen begin to attend grade school in town in 1957, the same school that Gail went to. Fast forward--We had our first date in the winter of 1964 in Gail's senior year of high school. Again--we were married June 1st of 1968. We moved to St. Paul in October of 1977 and lived at 2094 Niles Ave until Gail's death September 14 of 2009.
Gail first breast cancer was found in October of 2003. After surgery, chemo, radiation and infusions for a year she felt well and we lived life in our normal mode. Carmen retired in June of 2007 and shortly after that we quit doing the paper route as well. In the fall of 2007 we went on our dream vacation. We camped for 7 weeks in Prince Edward Island and Nova Scotia and in the New England states. Sleeping in our truck and eating over an open fire we felt that we had experienced heaven. Then in January of 2008 we spent 3 weeks in Hawaii with friends and again had so much fun. In the fall of 2008 we did much work on the outside of the house and we were so excited to enter 2009 with big plans and dreams. In January Gail was diagnosed with new cancer. For the next 7 1/2 months we prayed, changed our life style, laughed and cried often. As the end of Gail's life drew near she was peaceful and family cared for her at home until she met Jesus. It was a journey that was wonderful, exciting, blessed, full of life and full of love but of course it was too short. Gail is so missed but I know she is in a better place so my journey must continue on without my true love.
I enter a new decade as the "I" that I never wanted to be but I have hope. Hope of things not experienced and hope that life will again, in 2010, become something that I look forward to each morning. My hope is based on our Lord who gives all, who is all and who gives love to all who believe. I enter this new decade with so many questions and so few answers but with faith that all will be well.

For Carmen--A new beginning--A new journey

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

New day same thing!!

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The first reading at Gail's funeral September 18, 2009

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