Friday, September 18, 2009

The morning after

I know, there are many many meanings for "the morning after" but I mean the morning after so many people shared their love with me for Gail and of course their love for me too. I was so blessed by everyone. Before I go farther, the kids were the best. Everyone (John, Mary, Travis, Aaron, Amy, Cynthia and Mike) just made me so proud to say, "Over there that's him or here is so and so". I know that Gail's fellow angels were dancing and rejoicing with her last night, they were hugging and high 5ing and saying things like, Gail you did the best job ever with those kids.

It was great telling the many people who commented on my tie that Gail gave it to me. I have another tie that she gave me that I will wear today and it too is so kiddy and colorful. It brought back memories of the WIDE ties she made for me way back and I really liked them too but as ties became narrower and those big bright wide ones seemed to loom like big fluorescent lights in our closet we gave them away.

Hugh Springer did such a wonderful job with the slide show and as I watched that last picture of Gail waving good bye I lost it. Oh my gosh, she looked so happy, so contented, so real and she just seemed to fit the bill to a T of someone who had run the race surging over the finish line and was so happy and contented with her effort. Kind of like the time she and Jan ran the race and at the end she took her ribbon, cut it in half, and gave half to Jan because they had been in it together. I am now positive that because of God's unfailing love He has taken away all the sorrow Gail would naturally feel with the loss of family and friends and instead filled her heart in heaven with an overwhelming feeling of joy because she now can pray unceasingly for all of her "bunch". All of us have such a tall order to continue to live life to the fullest, love our God with all our heart and to build God's kingdom on earth. And may I add that Gail would encourage us to live on the edge because if we don't we take up too much space.

Mary Lee, Cynthia Adkins, Carol/Ed Schwab and Susan Wind, all of your were so awesome last night. I know not how you were so able to capture Gail like you did but the emotion with which you spoke, the love that you shared just was almost too much, to real. I actually looked at the coffin several times to see if Gail would open it up, sit up and with her blushing complexion ask if you would like a glass of water!

As I sit here this morning, drinking warmed over french press coffee, I can feel all of your support. My tears have to be wiped off the keyboard, my thoughts have to be corralled and my mind seems numb with events, places, people and questions. However, I am resolved to be more thankful in the future for family and friends and to hold the images, the thoughts and the example Gail was next to my heart.

I know, today is the funeral. For sure it will be another round of tears, of laughs, of hugs, of memories and most of all experiencing God's total love through you. If you happen to read this and actually get to the end of it and read these words please continue to pray for family and me. I am so not looking forward to Monday. I know that family being around 24/7 has to come to an end and so I need you to pray for the large gap in my heart. Pray that God will fix it, fill it and mend it with his loving care over time so that once again it will be whole.

1 comment:

Jen said...

I agree. The service was so beautiful last night. Everyone did such a great job!

I, too, checked the casket a couple of times to see if Gail was coming back out. What a wonderful woman!

God bless you, Carmen.

Jen B.