One week ago Cynthia woke me up this morning at about 2:30 AM and said that perhaps I should come downstairs. It seems like a few minutes ago and it seems like eternity. Those last 10 hours of Gail's life are so fresh in my mind I don't know if they will ever dim.
I rambled around in our bedroom last night until 1:30. I found a Valentine Card in the dresser that I had given Gail a LONG time ago. There were letters from our niece, the kids, a 3 page letter from Travis, basketball pins, soccer pins, a story of her aunt and uncle Anne and Otto who celebrated 75 years of marriage, list is almost endless and that was only ONE drawer.
As I opened all of the shades this morning I noticed that the grass is still green, the flowers are still blooming, the trees still have leaves and we still have neighbors. Then I let our dog Wallace out, fed him, put on some water for french press coffee, opened the door to get the paper and then I stopped. I said to myself that God is good, in fact he is wonderful. Gail is in a perfect place, no more pain or suffering or troubles or concerns, I think I have good health, there are the 4 kids, 6 grand children, siblings, in-laws and tears streamed down my face. I thought that my grief is real but it is not for Gail, it is for me. As I walked quickly to get a tissue I felt more than a twinge of pain but I also felt a glimmer of hope. Hope that time will heal, tears will be less frequent and constant memories will change to thoughts of the future. I spent time reading the funeral readings, especially Psalm 131. Of course before projects started for the day I sat down with my coffee and read the paper.
I can hardly wait to hear from Aaron/Amy today. They will find out today if their baby in January will be a boy or girl. I also am resolved to look forward to our niece Amy's wedding this coming weekend.
Have a good day and a great week.