Friday, September 25, 2009
I was invited to John and Marys for dinner tonight but for some reason I thought I should not go. Jerry Wind stopped by and asked me if I wanted to come to dinner. That seemed right and I did go. In the course of after dinner discussion I gained some more insight into Gail's journey. Of course there are many questions from many people as to why was Gail not healed. So many people had so many words, scriptures and thoughts that led us to believe that she would be healed, then WHY not? For me at least part of the answer came tonight. This is the insight I had for myself tonight. God wants all of us to live life to the fullest to the best of our ability until our last breath. In February the doctor told us that in 4-6 months Gail's sternum would be big, red, ugly and she would have serious health problems. To Gail that was an immediate death sentence. She knew that she wanted to live and the way for her to do that was to believe that she would be healed. Her belief that she would be healed allowed her to live life to the fullest until her last breath and each time someone prayed with her or gave her a scripture or a word that allowed her to continue to live beyond what the doctors said she would or could. That is why at one time she said in a half joking and half serious manner that she wanted to put up a sign on the door that said :If you do not believe do not come in". I feel what she was saying is I want to live, love and serve as long as I can and I need your belief to do that. I more clearly see now why it was so important to her when people prayed with her, told her they believed she would be healed and sent her thoughts, prayers and scriptures to that effect. I hope this makes sense to others as it does to me and I now better understand Gail's journey. I so clearly remember her words when we were making the decision to not go with hormone therapy. She said, "I want to live a long time but if I don't I want to feel as good as possible for as long as possible." I know that your belief helped her wish come true.