For Carmen--A new beginning--A new journey: A disconnect

Monday, June 14, 2010

A disconnect

Sorry, not a great picture but wanted to show ONE rose bush and how it is compared to Liam. I would say that bush has more than it's share of flowers.
The disconnect is the picture and what I will write tonight. As I looked at the calendar I made for myself today I noticed I had written on it that three years ago today was my last day of teaching. As I walked out of Highland alone that day little did I know the many many changes I would experience in the next three years. Here are some and in the order they occurred

July 1st, 2007 we deliver our last paper after 18 years of Gail and I doing it and 28 years in the family
August/September Gail and I work at the state fair for the first time and have a ball
September-October of 2007 we roam all over the Maritime proviences and the New England states cooking over an open fire and sleeping in the back of our Hilton Plugger Pickup and we actually think we have discovered heaven on earth.
January of 2008 we spend 3 weeks in Hawaii and have a wonderful time
May 20, 2008 we welcome Faustina Adkins into our family as our first grand daughter.
August/September of 2008 we work our second year of the fair and do a 6:00 PM-6:00 AM shift and say this is great fun
Things are good, Gail feels the best in many years and we look forward to growing old together and doing some of the many projects that have waited for YEARS
October 13 2008 Audrey Lee, a second grand daughter and makes the score males 3 , females 2
October of 2008 we put the finishing touches of 1100 shakes on the house and we say "well done"
November of 2008 we embark on an exercise and eating plan that is meant to make us slim, trim, attractive and able to do more work!!! Through January of 2009 we are so proud and excited that we are finally doing something for our health and the weight, especially Gail, seems to be coming off so easily.
End of January 2009 our world comes tumbling down. Gail's cancer is back in several places and the outlook is grim at best. We involve all our energy, all our resolve, all our resources into Gail regaining her health.
February-April of 2009. Gail feels well, we are doing everything from wheat grass juice to green smoothies and things look good.
May 20 of 2009--Gail gets an unexpected cold and her strength and energy slip dramatically.
May 20-August 31 of 2009 Gail's health is down, then almost up to normal, down and not quite up again, down again and up some but you get the picture. We and 100's storm the heavens for healing but we always say, "Lord your plan not ours"
Jude Adkins arrives and ups the score males 4 females 2
September 1-September 13 2009 Gail's strength and resolve weaken and God's beckoning seems to be at hand. At this time Gail continues to look at life through bright, steady eyes that are full of love and life but her actions tell us in quiet ways that the Lord is calling her home soon.
September 8 2009 hurried calls are made to Hospice and their services are so welcome, so needed and Gail feels their nurse is an angel.
September 14 2009 The heavenly gates are opened wide, Gail is ushered in to God's great heaven and my life, the children's life and many others are changed forever. Our Gail is gone to be with her father, never to grace us with her laughter, her smile or her selfless demeanor.
February 1 2010 Ruby Gail arrives and now the score females 3 males 4 (that means they are even)

That was 9 months ago. I could perhaps write a book on these last months. There have been ups (a few), downs (a lot) and changes that seem to never end in their breathe, their scope and their effect on me. I know that the children have experienced in their own way much of the same. We are so happy for the memories, so sad for her physical absence and so uncertain of what lies ahead. All I know at this time is that God is in charge, he leads the way and I will try to follow where ever that may lead.
The moral of my sharing is what lies ahead is never certain. The journey of life may take many and sudden turns and we should always be thankful, love others and serve our God with all we have.

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The first reading at Gail's funeral September 18, 2009

I know of no one who fit this better than Gail

Proverbs 31: 10-31
A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm.
all the days of her life.
She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.
She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously:
her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her;
Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Well done good and faithful servant, your praise is much and your reward is to be with God forever.

Our Story

Our story begin in 1951, when Carmen was 4 and Gail was 5! We met as our parents were at a camera club. Fast forward--Carmen begin to attend grade school in town in 1957, the same school that Gail went to. Fast forward--We had our first date in the winter of 1964 in Gail's senior year of high school. Again--we were married June 1st of 1968. We moved to St. Paul in October of 1977 and lived at 2094 Niles Ave until Gail's death September 14 of 2009.
Gail first breast cancer was found in October of 2003. After surgery, chemo, radiation and infusions for a year she felt well and we lived life in our normal mode. Carmen retired in June of 2007 and shortly after that we quit doing the paper route as well. In the fall of 2007 we went on our dream vacation. We camped for 7 weeks in Prince Edward Island and Nova Scotia and in the New England states. Sleeping in our truck and eating over an open fire we felt that we had experienced heaven. Then in January of 2008 we spent 3 weeks in Hawaii with friends and again had so much fun. In the fall of 2008 we did much work on the outside of the house and we were so excited to enter 2009 with big plans and dreams. In January Gail was diagnosed with new cancer. For the next 7 1/2 months we prayed, changed our life style, laughed and cried often. As the end of Gail's life drew near she was peaceful and family cared for her at home until she met Jesus. It was a journey that was wonderful, exciting, blessed, full of life and full of love but of course it was too short. Gail is so missed but I know she is in a better place so my journey must continue on without my true love.
I enter a new decade as the "I" that I never wanted to be but I have hope. Hope of things not experienced and hope that life will again, in 2010, become something that I look forward to each morning. My hope is based on our Lord who gives all, who is all and who gives love to all who believe. I enter this new decade with so many questions and so few answers but with faith that all will be well.

For Carmen--A new beginning--A new journey

Monday, June 14, 2010

A disconnect

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The first reading at Gail's funeral September 18, 2009

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