Friday, February 5, 2010

Chowder anyone?

Here is Gail on the steps of a little cafe in Morell, Prince Edward Island.  Perhaps 3 or 4 times a week we would stop at a local cafe and eat local food while we were in PEI and Nova Scotia.  Gail would usually order chowder and it was always wonderful.  At times it was difficult to find places open as it was in late September and early October and many many places were closed for the season.
Today was uneventful.  I did get a fairly short walk in and got a little work done, but not much.  Cynthia brought dinner over and Mike came from school and we ate together.  After dinner Cynthia and I were talking and she asked me if life is getting a bit easier yet.  My reply--
No, in fact it may be somewhat more difficult but I have fewer tears.  We are now coming up on 5 months and I am finding that life alone is really not a lot of fun.  I would not say it never will be but the reality of being alone, as contrasted with being married, is not very appealing.  I am trying to be proactive in my life but the truth is I have not gotten to the point where I can really think about the future, dream dreams or look forward to what is coming next.  I am so excited to see our new Ruby Gail and I will go to Madison fairly soon but in all honesty I do not look forward to the drive there alone or the drive back alone again.  It is not that driving alone is hard or bad but it is the contrast to what those trips used to be with Gail.  She would pack the clothes, she would make a lunch, she would make sure she had the cutting board in the car and the waste basket and perhaps even the kitchen sink!!  But really it was an event, a time together, a time on the road and it was fun(well the time both of us forgot to put our suitcase in the car it was not so fun!!). As we would pull out of the driveway we would sing "On that road again" and then when we arrived home we would sing "home again home again jiggity jog (sp) but you get the picture.  It sounds a bit silly, a bit corny but if any married couple thinks about their relationship there just has to be a part of it that is unique and corny to them and that is part of what makes a marriage special.
The short of it is I miss that aspect of my life.  Now I need to get to a place where I can be excited about new things, new activities and a different life.  I actually think that it is around the corner.  The question is how far away is the corner????  I know time is a huge factor so I will be patient and wait and in the mean time I will keep those memories close to my heart and mind.
Tomorrow morning there will be some talks at River Ridge so the morning will be taken up and in the afternoon I am not sure what I will do but I will try to make it productive.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I'm praying for you today. It's so hard to go from married to single, particularly in the death of a loved one. It's unnatural. But the amazing thing is, when Jesus was walking this earth as a man, fulfilling his mission here, he too felt so out of place yet he did it - just for us. He struggled to live without his Father here on earth, so he could die for us up on that cross.
He's got you covered. You are doing just fine.