I will be headed up North tomorrow. I am not taking my computer so I am guessing that I will not blog until perhaps Tuesday. I am not looking for any miracle or cure or anything like that. I am almost finished with the book I have been reading and it has helped me with ideas I had already. I perhaps have said this many many times before but here is where I am at:
- I know Gail is in heaven very near God so I am so happy about that
- I do not feel sorry for myself nor am I angry or upset. I realize that many many people have lost loved ones before me. Of course the people who come to mind are Grandma Saunders who lost Grandpa 20 years ago, Mark and Mary who lost Scotty, Deb and Dale who lost DeeAnn and Allen who lost Jeanne, Glorine who lost my brother, John who lost my sister and my parents who lost a son and daughter. So as you see I am not alone nor am I the last.
- For me I just plain miss miss miss miss Gail. Sunday it will be 5 months. I miss her smile, I miss her laugh, I miss her gifts, I just plain miss everything about her not being here. There is no cure or anything that can be done to change that. I really do appreciate all the prayers and I hope people continue to hold me up but I realize that I just need to walk each day in God's presence and as the days, weeks and months go by my pain will be less and my lonliness will get less. I do not anticipate those things going away, I just think they will become less and I will be able to carry them with me as part of me.