For Carmen--A new beginning--A new journey: Gail would have loved it

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Gail would have loved it

Here is the lone tulip in our front yard. I am not sure how long it will last as the rabbits seem to like them almost as much as people.
My stomach knot is gone today and I am in a better place. I plan to work in the yard this afternoon on that landscaping project again. I really should go on a bike ride as it is perfect weather but will probably reserve that for Mon-Fri as the weekends have many more people out and about.
I copied some 10 pictures of my mother and e-mailed them to the kids today as Aaron/Amy wanted them for Ruby Gail's book. Doing that kind of thing for me at this time is emotional not so much towards my mother but towards my Gail. I am a little distance from those emotions of the last 2 days but perhaps I need to drink more water today for all of the liquid I lost yesterday and Thursday. I find myself getting more and more down on myself when I have those "down" times. I am not sure that is good or bad but it just is. I need to and want to remember the good times with Gail and be able to smile when I do that. However, most of the time right now it is difficult to smile when I have memories. Lord, I need to have you help me change.
I have had several times in the last short while where I have joked too much or said too much. Have to change that and fast. Like I said so many months ago I do not have Gail to cover for some of my shortcomings or temper what I do or say so I need to change. I try but am not always successful. I often wonder what it would be like to be perfect. Actually I would very happily settle for being kind of near perfect or really when I think of it maybe if I just knew what perfect was that would help.
No as the day wears on I need to get some work done. If I am not careful the weekend will be history and I will still be planning it.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...: PLEASE, do not try to be perfect!! If everyone was perfect we'd all keel over from boredom! Be yourself, you're doing great. I have 3 siblings that are all unique individuals and that's why I love them. I can only hope people will like me for who I am and overlook all the flaws. People that do that are truely my friends. Helen; April 10, 2010 at 5:31 PM

Post a Comment

The first reading at Gail's funeral September 18, 2009

I know of no one who fit this better than Gail

Proverbs 31: 10-31
A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm.
all the days of her life.
She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.
She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously:
her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her;
Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Well done good and faithful servant, your praise is much and your reward is to be with God forever.

Our Story

Our story begin in 1951, when Carmen was 4 and Gail was 5! We met as our parents were at a camera club. Fast forward--Carmen begin to attend grade school in town in 1957, the same school that Gail went to. Fast forward--We had our first date in the winter of 1964 in Gail's senior year of high school. Again--we were married June 1st of 1968. We moved to St. Paul in October of 1977 and lived at 2094 Niles Ave until Gail's death September 14 of 2009.
Gail first breast cancer was found in October of 2003. After surgery, chemo, radiation and infusions for a year she felt well and we lived life in our normal mode. Carmen retired in June of 2007 and shortly after that we quit doing the paper route as well. In the fall of 2007 we went on our dream vacation. We camped for 7 weeks in Prince Edward Island and Nova Scotia and in the New England states. Sleeping in our truck and eating over an open fire we felt that we had experienced heaven. Then in January of 2008 we spent 3 weeks in Hawaii with friends and again had so much fun. In the fall of 2008 we did much work on the outside of the house and we were so excited to enter 2009 with big plans and dreams. In January Gail was diagnosed with new cancer. For the next 7 1/2 months we prayed, changed our life style, laughed and cried often. As the end of Gail's life drew near she was peaceful and family cared for her at home until she met Jesus. It was a journey that was wonderful, exciting, blessed, full of life and full of love but of course it was too short. Gail is so missed but I know she is in a better place so my journey must continue on without my true love.
I enter a new decade as the "I" that I never wanted to be but I have hope. Hope of things not experienced and hope that life will again, in 2010, become something that I look forward to each morning. My hope is based on our Lord who gives all, who is all and who gives love to all who believe. I enter this new decade with so many questions and so few answers but with faith that all will be well.

For Carmen--A new beginning--A new journey

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Gail would have loved it

1 comment:

The first reading at Gail's funeral September 18, 2009

Our Story

Followers

About Me