Saturday, April 10, 2010

Gail would have loved it

Here is the lone tulip in our front yard.  I am not sure how long it will last as the rabbits seem to like them almost as much as people.
My stomach knot is gone today and I am in a better place.  I plan to work in the yard this afternoon on that landscaping project again.  I really should go on a bike ride as it is perfect weather but will probably reserve that for Mon-Fri as the weekends have many more people out and about.
I copied some 10 pictures of my mother and e-mailed them to the kids today as Aaron/Amy wanted them for Ruby Gail's book.  Doing that kind of thing for me at this time is emotional not so much towards my mother but towards my Gail.  I am a little distance from those emotions of the last 2 days but perhaps I need to drink more water today for all of the liquid I lost yesterday and Thursday.  I find myself getting more and more down on myself when I have those "down" times.  I am not sure that is good or bad but it just is.  I need to and want to remember the good times with Gail and be able to smile when I do that.  However, most of the time right now it is difficult to smile when I have memories.  Lord, I need to have you help me change.
I have had several times in the last short while where I have joked too much or said too much.  Have to change that and fast.  Like I said so many months ago I do not have Gail to cover for some of my shortcomings or temper what I do or say so I need to change.  I try but am not always successful.  I often wonder what it would be like to be perfect.  Actually I would very happily settle for being kind of near perfect or really when I think of it maybe if I just knew what perfect was that would help.
No as the day wears on I need to get some work done.  If I am not careful the weekend will be history and I will still be planning it.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

PLEASE, do not try to be perfect!! If everyone was perfect we'd all keel over from boredom! Be yourself, you're doing great. I have 3 siblings that are all unique individuals and that's why I love them. I can only hope people will like me for who I am and overlook all the flaws. People that do that are truely my friends. Helen