For Carmen--A new beginning--A new journey: You be the judge

Friday, April 9, 2010

You be the judge

Some people say Jude looks like grandpa, you be the judge. The picture of Jude is when he was about 8 months old and the one of grandpa is when he was about 2.
Another DOWN day was on hand. I can not remember having 2 such downers on a row but it happened yesterday and today. I did get a few things done but not much. A friend fixed my 40 year old tiller so I picked that up. It works great and I am so happy. I dug up some of the yard on the east side of the drive way as I need to landscape that so the water drains towards the street. I hauled about 5 wheel borrows of dirt out and there is much more to do but every little bit helps. Perhaps I can get some more done tomorrow.
I did drive to the river again and just sit for about an hour. It is really peaceful there and kind of fun to watch people as they run, walk, bike etc. alone the river. BUT it really did not give me much comfort or peace of mind. I am just going around with this knot in my stomach and it just kind of sits there and bothers me. I know it is not any things physical that is wrong, just a lonesome knot that bugs me. Have also been so so close to those darn tears often and I say to myself this had better just be one of those darn stages because it is April 10 today which means we are oh so close to 7 months since Gail left us. It may be that everything in the yard reminds me of her. The green grass, the flowers, our first red tulip is up in front, just everything is coming to life with the rain we had over the last few days and Gail just loved this time of the year. I quit working in the yard this evening at 6:00 but if Gail would have been here we would have come in the house when it got too dark to see.
I have not slept that great the last few nights and those slices on my face have bothered me a bit so I suppose all of those things could contribute to that knot as well. I really am not complaining, I just want it to go away. I don't dare take my blood pressure. I have been good about those BP pills but I am sure if I did the readings I would not be happy.
Not a lot planned for the weekend. I do have a meeting tomorrow morning at 7:00 but the rest of the day is pretty free. I have some wood projects to work on as well as several other things but the energy, the motivation and the get up and go have almost got up and went!!
I think this is enough for tonight.

1 comment:

Mr. Adkins said...: At this point in Jude life, he DOES look like you (who knows about the future!) - but not in the picture you posted! Jude is smiling and you are mister stoic. In the current header picture he looks more like you....
cynthia; April 11, 2010 at 11:44 PM

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The first reading at Gail's funeral September 18, 2009

I know of no one who fit this better than Gail

Proverbs 31: 10-31
A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm.
all the days of her life.
She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.
She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously:
her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her;
Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Well done good and faithful servant, your praise is much and your reward is to be with God forever.

Our Story

Our story begin in 1951, when Carmen was 4 and Gail was 5! We met as our parents were at a camera club. Fast forward--Carmen begin to attend grade school in town in 1957, the same school that Gail went to. Fast forward--We had our first date in the winter of 1964 in Gail's senior year of high school. Again--we were married June 1st of 1968. We moved to St. Paul in October of 1977 and lived at 2094 Niles Ave until Gail's death September 14 of 2009.
Gail first breast cancer was found in October of 2003. After surgery, chemo, radiation and infusions for a year she felt well and we lived life in our normal mode. Carmen retired in June of 2007 and shortly after that we quit doing the paper route as well. In the fall of 2007 we went on our dream vacation. We camped for 7 weeks in Prince Edward Island and Nova Scotia and in the New England states. Sleeping in our truck and eating over an open fire we felt that we had experienced heaven. Then in January of 2008 we spent 3 weeks in Hawaii with friends and again had so much fun. In the fall of 2008 we did much work on the outside of the house and we were so excited to enter 2009 with big plans and dreams. In January Gail was diagnosed with new cancer. For the next 7 1/2 months we prayed, changed our life style, laughed and cried often. As the end of Gail's life drew near she was peaceful and family cared for her at home until she met Jesus. It was a journey that was wonderful, exciting, blessed, full of life and full of love but of course it was too short. Gail is so missed but I know she is in a better place so my journey must continue on without my true love.
I enter a new decade as the "I" that I never wanted to be but I have hope. Hope of things not experienced and hope that life will again, in 2010, become something that I look forward to each morning. My hope is based on our Lord who gives all, who is all and who gives love to all who believe. I enter this new decade with so many questions and so few answers but with faith that all will be well.

For Carmen--A new beginning--A new journey

Friday, April 9, 2010

You be the judge

1 comment:

The first reading at Gail's funeral September 18, 2009

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