For Carmen--A new beginning--A new journey: Good Bye October

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Good Bye October

As we count down these last hours of October I think there may be a sun rise on the horizon. I can see a bit of change in my heart. The nights seem not so terribly lonely as a few weeks ago. The days seem not so empty as they once did and the work around the house seems not quit so meaningless. I still do not sleep very well, I still often aimlessly get things done and I so often think of all the things Gail would be doing if she were here. Yesterday both Audrey and Faustina were here at times and I just know how much grandma would be beaming if she were here. At times like that I need to remind myself how happy she is in heaven and how much better she is because of that.
I am beginning to gather things for deer hunting and I need Gail to help me but of course it is again a solo venture.
I had one of Jenny's home brews Thursday. It was really really good but in a 22 oz bottle---I need to drink the last one not solo!!!!!!
I lost it yesterday as I filled out papers for health insurance for 2010. I had to mark the box "not married" and I had not done that before.
I listed Gail's quilting machine on Craig's list last night, will see what happens.
A very good friend Bonnie Klein died yesterday. She moved here from ND at about the same time as we moved. I remember getting together with Bonnie at the Two Spot in Devils Lake and talking about the Lord. She too battled cancer for a long time and I am sure endured much pain and suffering in her battle. I pray for her husband Joe and children Gretchen, JJ and Chris. They are adults now but the pain is still so difficult and I know Joe will need all of our prayers. One of the difficult things is after a long battle like that a person knows that when it is not in God's plan to heal the person is finished with their suffering and that is good but it is hard to wrap one's mind around that because they are missed so much.
I need to figure out what I want to do tonight as I do not want to answer the door and give out candy, somehow I need to avoid that.
I will drive to Resurrection Cemetery today to spend a short time there and see the pumpkin Travis put on the grave site.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...: I'm delighted to hear that you enjoyed the beer. However, I have a confession...I totally grabbed the wrong batch. The beer we offered you had "technical" difficulties. We've experienced too much carbonation. Therefore, we recommend that you pour the bottle into a pitcher and allow to settle a bit. We will remedy the situation and replace the beer with some from our new batch (once we make it)
Jenn (Dean, and the girls); October 31, 2009 at 6:22 PM

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The first reading at Gail's funeral September 18, 2009

I know of no one who fit this better than Gail

Proverbs 31: 10-31
A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm.
all the days of her life.
She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.
She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously:
her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her;
Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Well done good and faithful servant, your praise is much and your reward is to be with God forever.

Our Story

Our story begin in 1951, when Carmen was 4 and Gail was 5! We met as our parents were at a camera club. Fast forward--Carmen begin to attend grade school in town in 1957, the same school that Gail went to. Fast forward--We had our first date in the winter of 1964 in Gail's senior year of high school. Again--we were married June 1st of 1968. We moved to St. Paul in October of 1977 and lived at 2094 Niles Ave until Gail's death September 14 of 2009.
Gail first breast cancer was found in October of 2003. After surgery, chemo, radiation and infusions for a year she felt well and we lived life in our normal mode. Carmen retired in June of 2007 and shortly after that we quit doing the paper route as well. In the fall of 2007 we went on our dream vacation. We camped for 7 weeks in Prince Edward Island and Nova Scotia and in the New England states. Sleeping in our truck and eating over an open fire we felt that we had experienced heaven. Then in January of 2008 we spent 3 weeks in Hawaii with friends and again had so much fun. In the fall of 2008 we did much work on the outside of the house and we were so excited to enter 2009 with big plans and dreams. In January Gail was diagnosed with new cancer. For the next 7 1/2 months we prayed, changed our life style, laughed and cried often. As the end of Gail's life drew near she was peaceful and family cared for her at home until she met Jesus. It was a journey that was wonderful, exciting, blessed, full of life and full of love but of course it was too short. Gail is so missed but I know she is in a better place so my journey must continue on without my true love.
I enter a new decade as the "I" that I never wanted to be but I have hope. Hope of things not experienced and hope that life will again, in 2010, become something that I look forward to each morning. My hope is based on our Lord who gives all, who is all and who gives love to all who believe. I enter this new decade with so many questions and so few answers but with faith that all will be well.

For Carmen--A new beginning--A new journey

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Good Bye October

1 comment:

The first reading at Gail's funeral September 18, 2009

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