Oh my goodness. I just did not sleep last night. I would say I looked at the clock at least a dozen times. I think it may be nap time this afternoon.
I did not work at all yesterday. Cynthia again was here for some time over the lunch hour. We spent time recalling the days things happened before Gail died. For the first time I went back and read some of this blog. As you might guess I kept a towel on the arm of the chair. I also did type out a note to be put into many of the thank you notes.
I did do a great thing yesterday. I was able to balance one bottle on top of another bottle to make sure I used the last drop. All these years I watched Gail and thought how talented she was to be able to do that. I found out that it is easy!!!! Then I was wondering if Gail does that in heaven to save or if there the ketchup bottle just stays full.
I did go the the college soccer game. Claire Saunders did not start for some reason so I watched the first 20 minutes and left. It was so not interesting without anyone on the field that I knew.
Before the game I was near Hamline as I did some errands but it was too early so I looked around for something to do for 45 minutes. I ended up stopping in at a kitchen counter place. I decided it would be great to have teak counters in the kitchen. After all they only cost 1.5 times what you would pay for Cambria!!!!! I found myself saying I could not do the kitchen now as Gail should have had a new one years ago. I stopped and said that was wrong thinking but still there will be NO new kitchen soon!! One of the things we had talked about from time to time was when we had a blueprint of a new kitchen drawn up and then decided any money we had needed to go into family and not a new kitchen. Almost from the day we decided I wished we had not made that decision but......
I have come to an interesting realization. When I was teaching I could always look forward to the weekend when there were no kids, no lesson plans and no need to think about the many issues at work. Now I more than ever I realize that as a stay at home_________ there is no respite on the weekend. It is 7 days a week. There are meals on the weekend, pick up 7 days a week and the list goes on and on. I think in the Catholic Church the process of sainthood is 50 years. Let's see, Gail was married to me 41 years so she could officially become a saint in 9 years or did I do that wrong? I do know she was a living saint.
I am trying to figure out a way to keep the air conditioners in all winter and still winterize the windows. Don Ferber said he would help me with the windows and storms. Gail and I would usually spend 2 days and during that time she would wash the inside at the same time as I wash the outside. Sorry Don but I am not sure I want to look at you through the window for 2 days!! Just kidding.
As I finish this there is a cold hard rain pattering against the window. I just know that if this were November or December it would be snow---I do not think I am ready for that. I do visualize Gail's grave covered with snow and for some reason I don't like that.
No, it is time to open the shades, feed Wallace and think about a new day. Come Lord in all of your glory to all those who ask your presence. Give us wisdom, give us the ability to love, give us the ability to forgive and pour out your grace in each of us so that we may be Christ to all we meet.