Wednesday, December 23, 2009

A fun time

The title refers to the picture. Taken Dec 29 of 2007. We spent 3 days with John/Mary and family in Wisconsin at a cabin. Gail loved to do things outside. As you can see here we had built a fire and were playing in the snow.
Actually Christmas 2009 without Gail has begun. Aaron/Amy and Leo arrived this afternoon. Cynthia/Mike and kids came over for and with dinner. Travis also came. Cyn made everything and of course it was very good. A/A will be here tonight and most of the day tomorrow including Christmas Eve.
I held my emotions in fairly well tonight but my goodness the house really seemed empty. Of course that was totally the absence of Gail. I know things will go fine and there will be great food, lotz of fun and good conversation but for all of us from time to time things will be pretty empty. I think the last Christmas I was not with Gail was 1964. We never were much on giving each other presents for Christmas but the presence instead of the presents was always so important. This year neither will be here and life will go on. I will hang onto the memories this year and look forward to next time when I know the healer, our mighty God along with "time" will make 2010 a different story. We all know that nobody knows what next year will bring but I do know that my longing for Gail will not be so deep or so tender as this year. I really experienced kind of a miracle this afternoon. For some reason God gave me about 30 minutes of relief and there was that time when I was "up". It was so evident and so here that it caught me by surprise but I was so thankful for the time it was in my spirit. I am confident that the next time it happens it may last an hour or more.
I think it may be early to bed tonight as tomorrow, Friday and Saturday will focus around family and it should be fun.

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