Monday, December 14, 2009
I may need to park for a while
Here is a small portion of the shoes left at the front door for the open house last Friday. Kind of funny!!
I woke up this morning at 5:30. I knew I needed to get the recycling out by 7:00 and other than that my day looked wide open. As I attempted to get out of bed I felt like I may just have run into a parked car. My body felt awful. Headache, maybe a tiny one but I just felt like warmed over rotten turkey. I did not start to feel OK until mid afternoon. As I thought about how I felt and could not get into gear I came to the conclusion that I may have just run out of gas. I thought about how in the last 10 months there has been bad news, dr appt, more cancer found, Gail loss of weight, wheat grass enema's, more sad news, camp sandwiched into the schedule, the loss of Gail, all of the things after her death, throw away time, recycle time, clean up time, bill paying time, cry time, changes, long days, longer nights, memories, holidays, birthdays and of course the list is almost endless. I have come to the conclusion that maybe I need to just be. Maybe I need to eat, drink, sleep and not worry for a while about anything else. Am I more sad today than in the past, no. I am just kind of worn out and worn thin. I think my body is telling me that it is break time, rest up and welcome in the new year with a renewed vision of love, hope and service towards God, family and friends.
I have decided to listen to my body for the next few weeks and see if there is more to this life than going, coming, listening, planning and those kind of things.
Time to go watch some TV.