Tuesday, December 29, 2009

A very difficult day

This picture is of Gail and Cynthia finding play tickets in their pizzia at Lizzia's house.  They were so excited.
It is no almost 1:00 AM and I can not sleep.  My oh my Monday was a difficult day.  I decided to go through many papers that had piled up for the last several months.  I just could not stop those tears.  Everything from the last thing Gail wrote 3 days before she died to notes from 5 years ago.  I just kept thinking, remembering, wondering and about everything else.  I keep saying that things will get better after her birthday on Wednesday but I really do not know.  When I really sit down to think about these last 11 months I just say I can not believe it and I do not want to accept it.  I know I must believe and I must accept and I must move on but today I just could not get so many thoughts out of my head.  It may not help that I don't sleep real well and I have a sore throat and sores in my nose but regardless of what is happening this morning was like a bad dream.  I just walked around the house and thought about all the dreams we had and now everything is in my lap and I said I don't want it to be this way.  I want Gail back.  Maybe today will be better.  I will try to get some sleep.

1 comment:

michael said...

I remember the surprise of getting those tickets under the pizza like it was yesterday! We had so much fun going to Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat. Mom loved it and we would blast the soundtrack at home too.