That is me and Bennie. Bennie was a St. Bernard and bigger than me. I liked to ride on him and we certainly were the best of friends. It looks like here I am trying to decide what I (we) should do. Well, that is me today. The party is over, now what? I have been kind of walking around the house sometimes deep in thought, sometimes in tears and sometimes just walking. I came close to shouting at God. What in the world am I to do. I just told God I was tired of acting brave, I was tired of trying to be so "up" and I was just plain tired of being alone. He said that was OK but he had things for me to do so self pity would not get it done. I said that was easy for him to say because he had it perfect and then he reminded me of what he gave up in his son and I had to sit down to collect myself. I then decided that I best change and I will try my best.
Judy, a neighbor, called to thank me for the party and then she commented on the grandchildren. She said they should go on tour they are so cute. She even mentioned Leo who was not here. My oh my I am so lucky to have children and grandchildren who are successful, polite, goodlooking and so full of love and care. To think that there is another little girl on the way is so exciting.
I did get Christmas cards off to family. Maybe I will claim a temporary disability and take the day off from doing anything meaningful. I think I can get by with doing that for one day. I may even fall asleep this afternoon.