Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Back to the 60's
A chevy family!!!! From left to right is Jeanne (Al's first wife), grandma Saunders, Allen Saunders, Gail and then sister Deb. Gail is by the car her dad gave her so she could get to student teaching and it was our only car for the first 2 years of marriage. When we moved 4 times in our first year everything we owned got in the car, including our 3 drawer file!! I can not tell you the years of all the cars but I do know ours was a 1961 Biscayne.
I experienced a big knot in my stomach this morning that is still there. I went to SS to file for Gail's death benefit. A one time sum of $255! I had gone to St. Paul office last Friday and when I arrived I am guessing there were 60 people waiting. I did not stay. This morning I went to Brooklyn Center and I only had to wait 40 minutes. I actually do not know if it was worth it. "Death Benefit" sounds so cold, hard and final. I had brought nothing to read while I waited so I just sat there and remembered---all kinds of things like our wedding day, like our first date, like our canoe days near our farm, like motorcycle rides and of course how incredibly cute Gail was as a little girl and how beautiful she was in her adult life. I did fall and found myself saying Lord this is so hard and then I was reminded that the risk of great love is great pain. With that thought I said thank you Lord and went on to thinking about what I should do today.
The day is wonderful. Sun shine, warm temps and it is great to be alive---I think.