For Carmen--A new beginning--A new journey: Few deer and many thoughts

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Few deer and many thoughts

This picture is one of the reasons I enjoy hunting deer. This is of the Binde farm at 6:45 AM on Saturday.
The time away was a little bit of several things. I had a nice time with Grandma Saunders on Friday noon. I arrived in Fargo about 11 AM and left about 1:00. Grandma does very well for someone who is 88 and can see almost nothing.
I arrived at the Binde farm mid Friday afternoon. I walked around their land for about an hour and the soil was wet wet wet. It was almost impossible to walk in the fields, most of which are not harvested yet. John arrived before dark so we kind of put together a plan for Saturday morning. We saw several deer on Saturday but no shots. John left after dinner and I hunted again this morning until it started to rain. I got one shot off at about 225 yards and at that distance my shooting skills leave a lot to be desired. I missed!!! The deer walked almost in the spot that John had been sitting Saturday AM so it certainly is a story of being in the right place at the right time. End of my deer quest for 2009.
Actually, my mind was marginally on deer hunting. It was difficult to be at the Bindes without Gail, it was difficult to be with Grandma without Gail, it just was plain difficult to be without Gail for the time away. When I returned home I realized that for now I am the most comfortable close to where Gail and I spent most of our time. It actually is kind of strange that a table, a buffet, a book case or any thing like that can give one comfort. It is comforting to be near things in the house that make me feel closer to Gail. Of course this will change with time but NOW I like to be home. There were times in the field that my mind just went too far on too many things. John and I spent about 9 hours sitting on Saturday. Other than looking for deer there is nothing to do besides think and think I did. My mind went the extreme from what to do in the house to old high school days to dreams unmet to the good, the bad, the ugly and everything in between. In one sense the rain that halted my hunting was kind of welcome. That meant that I could jump in the truck and head home where at this time I feel safe, welcome, comfortable and I can focus on things to do.
I did get 2 e-mails when I was gone concerning the sewing machine so I do hope I am able to sell it soon. I don't have to but it would be nice. I have never sold anything on Craig's List so I really do not know what to expect.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...: Hi Carm
Beautiful picture!!! I'm sorry you didn't get your deer. The conditions are better than last year. It was snowing and cold. This year warmer and wet. Continue to enjoy your blog and read it daily. Mary; November 9, 2009 at 3:59 PM

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The first reading at Gail's funeral September 18, 2009

I know of no one who fit this better than Gail

Proverbs 31: 10-31
A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm.
all the days of her life.
She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.
She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously:
her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her;
Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Well done good and faithful servant, your praise is much and your reward is to be with God forever.

Our Story

Our story begin in 1951, when Carmen was 4 and Gail was 5! We met as our parents were at a camera club. Fast forward--Carmen begin to attend grade school in town in 1957, the same school that Gail went to. Fast forward--We had our first date in the winter of 1964 in Gail's senior year of high school. Again--we were married June 1st of 1968. We moved to St. Paul in October of 1977 and lived at 2094 Niles Ave until Gail's death September 14 of 2009.
Gail first breast cancer was found in October of 2003. After surgery, chemo, radiation and infusions for a year she felt well and we lived life in our normal mode. Carmen retired in June of 2007 and shortly after that we quit doing the paper route as well. In the fall of 2007 we went on our dream vacation. We camped for 7 weeks in Prince Edward Island and Nova Scotia and in the New England states. Sleeping in our truck and eating over an open fire we felt that we had experienced heaven. Then in January of 2008 we spent 3 weeks in Hawaii with friends and again had so much fun. In the fall of 2008 we did much work on the outside of the house and we were so excited to enter 2009 with big plans and dreams. In January Gail was diagnosed with new cancer. For the next 7 1/2 months we prayed, changed our life style, laughed and cried often. As the end of Gail's life drew near she was peaceful and family cared for her at home until she met Jesus. It was a journey that was wonderful, exciting, blessed, full of life and full of love but of course it was too short. Gail is so missed but I know she is in a better place so my journey must continue on without my true love.
I enter a new decade as the "I" that I never wanted to be but I have hope. Hope of things not experienced and hope that life will again, in 2010, become something that I look forward to each morning. My hope is based on our Lord who gives all, who is all and who gives love to all who believe. I enter this new decade with so many questions and so few answers but with faith that all will be well.

For Carmen--A new beginning--A new journey

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Few deer and many thoughts

1 comment:

The first reading at Gail's funeral September 18, 2009

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