This picture was taken in 1976. You can see Travis staying really close to his mother. This was the year before we moved to St. Paul.Today was one of those days that I guess is hard to explain. I went to men's group and on the way home I thought that my stomach didn't feel very good. Then it dawned on me that I had forgotten to eat dinner and I was hungry. One of the men in the group is going through major health problems with his wife. She will have a ten hour surgery December 1 when doctors will take out part of her jaw and rebuild it with a bone from her leg. It just was so difficult for me to listen to that. The whole night I could not get Gail out of my mind and what she went through the last months of her life. As I drove home I just felt that I was lifeless and helpless. I do know better than to try to figure out illness but it is so hard to see loved ones go through suffering and pain. One of the most lasting impressions of Gail's cancer is that of seeing how totally helpless we are when a human body goes through pain and suffering. I am talking about the physical part because we all know that the emotional and spiritual part one can deal with through our God. Actually I also know that the 100's of people praying also helped Gail with the physical pain but it still was hard to see her go through that.
There was also a trigger moment tonight. A trigger moment is when something happens and it triggers those emotions. Several months ago our men's group had scheduled a night in December with our wives. It was brought up tonight and of course it triggered those darn tears again.
For some reason I am tired so will probably go to bed early.
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