Sunday, November 15, 2009

Many happenings---same old thing!

Here is Gail at age 1. When this picture was taken she was living in Oakland CA and her daddy was patrolling the west coast as a member of the US Coast Guard during WWII.
Same old thing---by that I mean I am doing fine but it sure is lonesome, it sure is quiet, it sure is long nights and I still say that when a person tries to follow God's plan and be in his hand in the end things will be fine and God's glory and love always shine BUT for the present and NOW the struggles continue with human fragility and weaknesses.
Happenings--yesterday had several. It may sound small but I took the time to empty Gail's purse. It had very little in it but there were tears. I may use it in the future as a small camera carrying case.
The 40Th wedding anniversary gift (sewing machine) went as well. I am so happy that I was able to sell it to a lady who seems like she will use it, love it and sew some quilts but it was difficult to see it go. It was almost like part of our marriage was packed up and sent away. I knew that it was too nice to just sit and collect dust as a mechanical monument to 41 years of marriage but......
I felt that by letting go of it I may be able to better walk the walk that I need to do over these next few months. My heart swelled with pride when I showed the lady an example of the quilt squares Gail sewed. The front was perfect and so was the BACK! I would say it did not mean anything to the lady but to me it was good to be able to show it to her. She learned about the machine through Connie S and I am so thankful to her.
I spent time yesterday cleaning up some things and actually the first floor is now somewhat in order, I said somewhat.
I also went through some more pictures. I would say that I have come face to face with my own mortality. As I think back on my life, see how short it really is and remember those family members who have passed on I realize more than ever how a person has a responsibility to live for the here and now as tomorrow who knows.
I have begun to think and pray about what I might do after Christmas. It looks like there will be a need to get serious about some added income so I may need to stop thinking and start doing. I have said the last 2+ years that if I needed more income I wanted to be able to earn that without getting tied up in certain hours on certain days. I MAY be able to keep that but perhaps I need to be realistic and be open to a job that has hours and days tied to it. I am confident that God will open doors and give me insights into what I need to do when the time comes.
As I write the sun is shining and I know if Gail were here she would want to go for a walk with Wallace, that is a good idea!

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