For Carmen--A new beginning--A new journey: Those college days

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Those college days

This was taken in 1967, in the fall. Gail was a floor monitor in the dorm. She sent this to me as I was still in Fargo at NDSU. For spring semester I transferred to where she was a senior and then we married June 1st of 68. She graduated on Friday, May 31, we drove 400 miles for our rehearsal that night and were married the next day. We then started summer school June 5Th.
I had another one of those nonproductive days. For some reason I was tired. I was up at 5 AM so I could be at Cyn/Mikes by 5:30. Jude's surgery went well and Cyn and he were home by 11 AM. I came home and actually slept much of the afternoon. How bad is that. Had dinner at the Winds and of course that is not only always fun but delicious as well. As I was walking home from the Winds I thought about doing the walk alone, going to an empty house, spending the evening alone and I thought well Lord if you will this for me at this time it must be OK. Yesterday and today I have had this tremendous hollow empty feeling. I actually do not know what it is or what it means but it has kind of consumed me in thought and prevented me from doing much. I would guess it is another step in the road to new life, new experiences and a new me. I have been thinking a lot about life this week. I have thought how all of us are shaped, molded, formed and changed as life unfolds. I thought about how a death, a lost loved one, a relationship that goes sour, lost job or what ever one wants to think about---as those things happen in our lives they leave us different in some way. Sometimes we are better for the experience and I would think other times there is something lost that can not be recovered so it leaves us somewhat a different person. I though how many of us do not like change but really life is all about changes, good and not so good. There is no doubt that the changes in my life over the last many weeks will affect me forever and what my challenge will be is to take those changes, see God in them and use them in some way to better myself and to give something positive to our world. I will pray that I can make that happen. But really for tonight I will be a bit lonely and sad. Not that I want to be but because I am so human and so frail in the eyes of God. It is humbling to be so frail yet perhaps it is good for one's soul.

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The first reading at Gail's funeral September 18, 2009

I know of no one who fit this better than Gail

Proverbs 31: 10-31
A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm.
all the days of her life.
She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.
She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously:
her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her;
Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Well done good and faithful servant, your praise is much and your reward is to be with God forever.

Our Story

Our story begin in 1951, when Carmen was 4 and Gail was 5! We met as our parents were at a camera club. Fast forward--Carmen begin to attend grade school in town in 1957, the same school that Gail went to. Fast forward--We had our first date in the winter of 1964 in Gail's senior year of high school. Again--we were married June 1st of 1968. We moved to St. Paul in October of 1977 and lived at 2094 Niles Ave until Gail's death September 14 of 2009.
Gail first breast cancer was found in October of 2003. After surgery, chemo, radiation and infusions for a year she felt well and we lived life in our normal mode. Carmen retired in June of 2007 and shortly after that we quit doing the paper route as well. In the fall of 2007 we went on our dream vacation. We camped for 7 weeks in Prince Edward Island and Nova Scotia and in the New England states. Sleeping in our truck and eating over an open fire we felt that we had experienced heaven. Then in January of 2008 we spent 3 weeks in Hawaii with friends and again had so much fun. In the fall of 2008 we did much work on the outside of the house and we were so excited to enter 2009 with big plans and dreams. In January Gail was diagnosed with new cancer. For the next 7 1/2 months we prayed, changed our life style, laughed and cried often. As the end of Gail's life drew near she was peaceful and family cared for her at home until she met Jesus. It was a journey that was wonderful, exciting, blessed, full of life and full of love but of course it was too short. Gail is so missed but I know she is in a better place so my journey must continue on without my true love.
I enter a new decade as the "I" that I never wanted to be but I have hope. Hope of things not experienced and hope that life will again, in 2010, become something that I look forward to each morning. My hope is based on our Lord who gives all, who is all and who gives love to all who believe. I enter this new decade with so many questions and so few answers but with faith that all will be well.

For Carmen--A new beginning--A new journey

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Those college days

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The first reading at Gail's funeral September 18, 2009

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