Thursday, November 12, 2009

Those college days

This was taken in 1967, in the fall. Gail was a floor monitor in the dorm. She sent this to me as I was still in Fargo at NDSU. For spring semester I transferred to where she was a senior and then we married June 1st of 68. She graduated on Friday, May 31, we drove 400 miles for our rehearsal that night and were married the next day. We then started summer school June 5Th.
I had another one of those nonproductive days. For some reason I was tired. I was up at 5 AM so I could be at Cyn/Mikes by 5:30. Jude's surgery went well and Cyn and he were home by 11 AM. I came home and actually slept much of the afternoon. How bad is that. Had dinner at the Winds and of course that is not only always fun but delicious as well. As I was walking home from the Winds I thought about doing the walk alone, going to an empty house, spending the evening alone and I thought well Lord if you will this for me at this time it must be OK. Yesterday and today I have had this tremendous hollow empty feeling. I actually do not know what it is or what it means but it has kind of consumed me in thought and prevented me from doing much. I would guess it is another step in the road to new life, new experiences and a new me. I have been thinking a lot about life this week. I have thought how all of us are shaped, molded, formed and changed as life unfolds. I thought about how a death, a lost loved one, a relationship that goes sour, lost job or what ever one wants to think about---as those things happen in our lives they leave us different in some way. Sometimes we are better for the experience and I would think other times there is something lost that can not be recovered so it leaves us somewhat a different person. I though how many of us do not like change but really life is all about changes, good and not so good. There is no doubt that the changes in my life over the last many weeks will affect me forever and what my challenge will be is to take those changes, see God in them and use them in some way to better myself and to give something positive to our world. I will pray that I can make that happen. But really for tonight I will be a bit lonely and sad. Not that I want to be but because I am so human and so frail in the eyes of God. It is humbling to be so frail yet perhaps it is good for one's soul.

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