Friday, November 13, 2009

Two months

On the back of this picture it says that Gail's dad, Chic, carried this picture in his wallet. I don't know how old she is but her smile here with that little gap in the teeth reminds me of Faustina.
It will be 2 months tomorrow that we said good-bye to Gail. It seems like a few days ago in many ways. I have decided that I need to do something on Fridays. Friday night was the night that we tried to spend together and my oh my some Fridays have been so difficult. Tonight I went out in the garage and just sat there. I have not done anything in my wood shop for several months so there is much to do but I just sat on a stool and stared. Of course that was fruitless so I came in the house and what did I do? Well I just sat, cried, and missed Gail so much I could almost taste the loneliness. After I gathered myself I ate a big bowl of ice cream as if that would help anything. I still think I am doing OK but wow tonight it didn't look that way. I have not figured out if I have been tired or lazy the last three days. I just want to sleep. Cynthia was here this afternoon and the next thing I know I wake up and she is gone.
I have thought a lot about people who live alone. I will have to ask Travis as he has never been married and lives alone. I have many times told people that I would be very happy to just work in my shop, stay at home etc. but for the last 2 months this being alone thing just is not good. I am counting on that changing when I am able to deal better with Gail being gone.
There have been times that I thought I had an answer, a good idea, something I needed to do or something like that but tonight I just don't have any wisdom or ideas or anything else worth thinking about. Maybe, just maybe I will put 3 ice cubes in a small glass of Baileys and then see if I can get some sleep.

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