Saturday, January 16, 2010

That goofy smile!!

Here is Gail as she was getting things ready for my surprise 50th birthday party which would have been in 1997.  I love that smile that she would get from time to time.
It was a slow day.  Tony is still here and will leave for Rockford tomorrow.  Joel K came over for about an hour to talk to him.
I worked on slides much of the day.  I have almost gone through all of them and thrown maybe 200.  So now I have no pictures of elk, bears, mountains, clouds, airplanes etc!!!!  It was not too difficult to go through them but my it made my heart ache for Gail. for her touch, for her smile, for her giggle, for her hand and just all of her I guess.  The knowledge that she is in heaven makes me happy for her but her absence in my life daily makes me so sad and lonely. 
I find that I am more able now to talk in the "I" terms and even think sometimes in the "me" terms but it is still difficult to say "my house" or "my grandchildren" or "my kids".  The "we" just comes so naturally and easily and the I kind of sticks on the end of my tongue as I try to say it.  I guess I could brand the "I" word the peanut butter word!!!   I don't even like to practice saying I.  Enough.

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