Amen

  

I arrived home at 11:37 AM.  I promptly went to Gail's china cabinet, took out one of my favorite cups that Grandma Saunders gave Gail and I (the ones with horses on that Uncle Frank made), poured some Baileys into it and toasted Gail.  It is done, the monument is ordered.  It was 172 days ago that the man from Resurrection Cemetery said that I may not want to do anything with a monument now but deal with that later.  Now, after countless hours, several trips to different places, holding emotions in and letting them out too, some e-mails to family, much soul searching, checking bank accounts, talking to many people, asking the Lord for advice and many many tears it is done.  The monument is ordered, the price is set, the color is decided, the location is decided, scripture is picked, and it is done.  The 3 pieces of granite will come in about 60 days, I will then go look at them and it will be put together.  As  I stood up to leave today I extended my hand to 84 year old Chester to thank him.  As I held my hand out and looked at him I knew that he is in a business but really he loves his job and he likes to help people.  He took my hand in both of his old wrinkled and gnarled hands, held my hand tight and said we will do our best to make it just as you want.  At that moment I could feel God's hand in his and together they held my love for Gail and her love for me tightly.

One could ask why is a monument so important or what is so special about it.  Well:

• The granite comes from a guarry 100 miles from where Gail and I grew up and were molded and formed into who I am and who Gail was.
• Our names will be in Gail's own hand writing.  Her writing was an extension of who she was.
• The scripture is taken from Grandma and Grandpa Saunders' Bible.
• The edges will be unpolished, natural like Gail tended to be.
• The granite will last perhaps forever.  It stands for how strong Gail was and how she stood the test of time in grand style.
• The bench will be a place to sit, talk to God, listen to God and perhaps hear Gail's sweet voice once again.
• The scripture is a reminder of how much Gail loved God's word.
• The entire monument will be something that reminds us that Gail is gone but yet still remains with us.

So I am ready to put this monument exercise to rest.   I think that one of the difficult things about it was my name goes on it too.  Maybe I should look at it as now I am special, after all how many of you have your name etched into a granite stone?  Or maybe it is just the fact that with Gail gone I am left to face the reality of my own mortality which will face me each time I visit the grave site.  It is perhaps not important how I look at it but really putting it behind me is a big load off my shoulders and a relief. 
No, the Winds are coming over for dinner tonight and the house looks like, well lets say it needs some help.  I am also behind in camp as I promised an e-mail to the program directors yesterday and I do have a meeting at 7:30 tonight so it is now down with the last drop of Baileys and on to some work.