I spent much of the day in the shop. The smell, the dust, the noise and all of it actually is better tonic than a glass of Baileys!!! I am close to being finished with the toy containers for Cyn/Mike. It will then be on to Liam's bd present and then to Will's. Above are the 2 styles of cribs I have made thus far. On the right is the first one and it went to John/Marys. On the left is the one that went to Aaron/Amy and to Cyn/Mike.
The blessing has been that I have been able to put the absence of Gail out of my mind some of the time. I had to go to Home Depot for some screws and I found myself singing all the way there.
I am in the lump stage now!!! That means that tears come less often but instead I get that lump in my throat. I find that I do go from lump to song to lump to song. How goofy is that?? But--it is the way I am so I guess I need to embrace it and try to move on to what ever comes next. I did have one of those lingering thoughts on my way home today. I found myself shaking my head and thinking, is this real? Is this really life from now on? I felt the cell phone in my pocket and thought about how I would always call when I was on my way home to see if Gail needed anything. Then I thought she needs NOTHING now but I do, I need her but....
Paul W is coming over tonight with some of his homemade brew. I will provide the Papa Murphy's pizza and he the brew. Sounds like a good deal for all.
I have to learn to watch what I say. I have this habit of thinking anyone I talk to or e-mail knows me and where I am coming from which of course is not true. I have been exchanging some e-mails with a high school friend and I made more than one reference to what I intended as a joke but of course it did not come away like that. She was so upset and rightly so. I just felt so so badly it kind of ruined my day but I guess I need to learn to communicate better and more carefully. Sometimes I just think I should become a recluse but then maybe that is not the answer. I guess I could try to change for the better, I will try.
I need to get the saw dust out of my clothes, off of my body and out of my hair before Paul arrives.