Thursday, March 25, 2010

Tis better than Baileys

I spent much of the day in the shop.  The smell, the dust, the noise and all of it actually is better tonic than a glass of Baileys!!!  I am close to being finished with the toy containers for Cyn/Mike.  It will then be on to Liam's bd present and then to Will's.  Above are the 2 styles of cribs I have made thus far.  On the right is the first one and it went to John/Marys.  On the left is the one that went to Aaron/Amy and to Cyn/Mike.
The blessing has been that I have been able to put the absence of Gail out of my mind some of the time.  I had to go to Home Depot for some screws and I found myself singing all the way there.
I am in the lump stage now!!!  That means that tears come less often but instead I get that lump in my throat.  I find that I do go from lump to song to lump to song.  How goofy is that??  But--it is the way I am so I guess I need to embrace it and try to move on to what ever comes next.  I did have one of those lingering thoughts on my way home today.  I found myself shaking my head and thinking, is this real?  Is this really life from now on?  I felt the cell phone in my pocket and thought about how I would always call when I was on my way home to see if Gail needed anything.  Then I thought she needs NOTHING now but I do, I need her but....
Paul W is coming over tonight with some of his homemade brew.  I will provide the Papa Murphy's pizza and he the brew.  Sounds like a good deal for all.
I have to learn to watch what I say.  I have this habit of thinking anyone I talk to or e-mail knows me and where I am coming from which of course is not true.  I have been exchanging some e-mails with a high school friend and I made more than one reference to what I intended as a joke but of course it did not come away like that.  She was so upset and rightly so.  I just felt so so badly it kind of ruined my day but I guess I need to learn to communicate better and more carefully.  Sometimes I just think I should become a recluse but then maybe that is not the answer.  I guess I could try to change for the better, I will try.
I need to get the saw dust out of my clothes, off of my body and out of my hair before Paul arrives.

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